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i don't know what to do...

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by iceeblusmurf, Jun 25, 2008.

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  1. iceeblusmurf

    iceeblusmurf Senior Member

    So i'm horrible at writing and at putting things into words....but i'm gonna do my best.

    So my moms that when i was little i was diagnosed as borderline bipolar.....i don't know if i believe her i think she just says that. but i think i might be these days...and i dont' know what to do cuz its ruining my life...
    I can be happy and ANY little thing can put me down or even nothing....i get angry at the people around me for no reason. and i just go up and down and up and down and i can't explain it......i don't know what to do. i don't have medical insurance so i can't get on pills and i don't know how to get this under control.....i have to.......cuz i can't lose what i have! i'm desperate........i'm just.........i feel like such a stupid person....and i just don't know what to do....just......i'm rambling......
  2. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member


    it's hard. my sister isn't on medical insurance either... i'm sorry youre having these mood swings, that are so major, that you could be bi polar..

    :hug: I'm here for you Jess
  3. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    there was a point and time when i didn't have insurance either. i would look into each county usually has something set up. that's what i did till i got insurance. it's worth looking into. you just might be able to get on some of those meds you're thinking about. please take care
  4. janie

    janie Well-Known Member

    jess one of the best things you can do is know about bipolar disorder.

    Normally, people become happy or sad about something, ie there is a cause, e.g their puppy dying, with mood disorders i would imagine it as your brain just suddenly clicking into a down mood (or extremely happy/excited mood). like depression it may not nessesarily need an outside cause-ie there may not be anything to be sad/happy about.

    with bipolar the main problems are 1) depression and 2) doing things you wouldnt normally do (and which u are likely to regret later on) while you are in a "manic" state.

    with 2) people usually feel very good about themselves (although they usually become more easily irritated) so the only issue is in controlling yourself to not do anything you mite regret later on. (its kinda like being happily drunk- u loose your inhibitions and most things seem plausible and a good idea.)

    with 1) people feel bad- and that is the bad part (and it can lead to worse things) you can also get irritated/shorttempered in a depressive phase.

    with mood disorders medication is not the cure-all. imagine it as the powerade a sports person drinks to try and win a 100m race- it MITE do something and help a little bit by giving you a bit more electrolytes but to win the race you have to rely on your own training and determination. Mood disorders do not change your ability to reason and think. if you know about bipolar disorder then you can monitor yourself to know when you start to fall into a depressive/manic phase and do things to prevent yourself from being harmed.

    for example, if you KNOW that your brain will, periodically, flick into a sad mood once in a while and then be able to flick back out again then you can tell yourself "ok this will pass" and not for example try to end you life right? and if you know that while you are in this depressive phase you are more likely to get irritated/pissed off with people you can remind yourself when ever u become angry that "ok this is bipolar that's making me angry -i should calm down" and not rage back at someone unneccesarily yea?

    dont think that your life is ruined if you have bipolar- the brain and mind is (i know this sounds gay but seriously) amazing at fixing itself and change. bipolar may make you down for example for no reason but you can change your whole way of thinking to not let it affect you at all.

    you have to know what your dealing with first of all. ask if there is a book called the DSM-4 or DSM-3 at ur library and if so get it out and read about bipolar disorder. (there are two types) while your there have a read about all the other psychiatric disorders cos theyre interesting lol. and once you know what bipolar does to you, pay attension to yourself and think "ok this is just the brain being dumb im not gonna do silly things like get pissed at ppl etc."

    ugh ok i think im loosing it so im gonna finish up: few last things to know:

    a) mental dissorders are still a bit of a mystery- i.e doctors dont really know what causes them, what's going on in the brain or if they are just part normal variations in personality e.g. mild mood disorders

    b) it may take effort but you can control your emotions e.g. you can change yourself to say, not get angry

    c) oah while your reading the DSM book you mite start diagnosing yorueslf with other problems- dont pay too much attension to that - the "diagnostic criteria" in there are not diagnostic at all in the tru sense of teh word lol

    d) and this is probably the most important: you probably dont have bipolar at all HAHAH so i just made you read all that for nothing~ lol cos its very likely to misdiagnose common "teen/child angst" (or watever you call it- the teenage period where your mood/personality are developing/changing) as mood disorders. But still have a read- that book is REAL intetresting and then if youre still wondering if u have it- flick a coin and go by that lol

    e) um when you get enuff money go see a specialist medical person about it cos what am i a doctor? im not so take all this with a pinch of salt :)
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i can recommend the depression workbook by mary ellen copeland. there's plenty in there about coping with bipolar (the author is bipolar herself).

    don't let your mom do the diagnosing. get to a professional and have them do a thorough diagnosis.

    as for prescriptions, all the major drug companies have a subsidy program for people who can't afford their medicines. often your doctor applies on your behalf. i look on the meds as just a life-belt keeping me afloat, while i do all the other hard work to get better myself.

    your library probably has the mary ellen copeland book (or just google her, some parts of the book are online). that might be your first step, and your second would be to get to the doctor.

    do you still live with your mom? i think it is incredibly irresponsible of her to ignore a doctor's diagnosis and not be getting you the help you deserve.
  6. iceeblusmurf

    iceeblusmurf Senior Member

    Yeah i do still live with her, but i don't have insurance....and like i went to therapists a few times as a kid for very short times.......but it never stuck and i didn't get far with them cuz i wasn't really at a realization of my problems i didn't think i had any. so we never even discussed meds.....my mom doesn't really know how bad things are for me.....i don't tell her......cuz my mom gets snoopy...she'd start snooping in my computer and i have a hard enough time keeping her out as it is. like..............i'm just kinda stuck.......
  7. blue542

    blue542 Staff Alumni

    Sorry to butt in. I know you're not currently in school, and I don't know how long you have to be out of school to legally not be considered a student, but if you're under 24 and a student (likely active or temporarially inactive) you may be covered by your mother's insurance or cobra. At the very least, it's worth looking into. I didn't get my degree in Oregon, but I'm sure it essentially works the same.

    Just a thought.

  8. iceeblusmurf

    iceeblusmurf Senior Member

    my mom doesn't have insurance either at the moment :(:( she didn't think the money was worth it.
  9. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    don't let the lack of insurance stop you from getting help. put money aside for a doctor's appointment, or go to a free clinic. try your local advocacy center to see if they can suggest a free clinic near you: http://www.oradvocacy.org/ -- your health is too important to leave up to chance.

    as i said above, most medications for bipolar can be subsidized by the drug companies (my meds run $500 a month, which i could never afford without the subsidy)...

    forget about relying on your mom to help you, this time you have to take steps to help yourself. good luck!
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