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I don't know what to do...

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Tigerlily, Jul 26, 2008.

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  1. Tigerlily

    Tigerlily New Member

    My partner has struggled with suicidal thoughts her entire life. She is seeking help, going to individual and group counseling, but I still worry about her so much. I want to be here for her to protect her from herself, but I physically can't be with her every minute. She has a stockpile of pills that she keeps, she says they are a part of her and she can't get rid of them, but the only purpose she has for keeping them is for a possible suicide attempt. I so badly want to flush them, I don't know why I haven't already. I just don't know what to do. I love her so much.

    It seems silly to be asking thes, but should I take them and flush them?


  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    wow that's a hard one to answer.

    i think in the end she has to take responsibility for getting well, and getting rid of the pills is a big step in that direction. if you get rid of them for her, you are taking that process away from her.

    i recently gave up my stash of pills (handed them back into the pharmacy) and it took 4 months hard work in therapy to get to the point that i was ready to do so. and they weren't even my preferred method! but they were symbolic, for me, as i had a lifetime of feeling suicidal that i had to say good bye too. in the end, it was only when i wrote a letter to myself promising to take care of me *without* suicide as an option that i was able to dump the pills. she needs to get to a similar place on her own.

    instead of flushing the pills, can you remind her every day that you love and care for her, and that you will help her stay safe no matter what? if the group and individual therapies aren't working, tell her that you will help her find other supports.

    i wish you luck with making this hard decision.
  3. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    I agree with the duck (dazzle). It's down to her in the end but what you can do is nudge her in the right direction.
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    If you flush the pills you are taking away her control. She needs to feel she has control. Maybe she will let you put them somewhere safe with the understanding she still can access them if necessary, but you have now built in a delay so things won't be done on impulse. Continue to encourage her in her fight for life. Let her know you care and are there for her when you can be.
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