I don't know what to do.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by eagles_fan, Dec 12, 2008.

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  1. eagles_fan

    eagles_fan Well-Known Member

    I have no social life. I honestly truly don't. I have only hung out with friends outside of school twice in my entire life. I have never been to a friend's house or brought a friend home. I've never had a girlfriend or sex.

    Every day I come home and seriously do nothing. I pretty much just sleep or listen to music. I've done this pretty much my entire life.

    No one ever asks me if I want to hang out. However, I did meet this girl who I want to hang out with. But I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me very much. Every time I call she doesn't pick up the phone. I keep telling her that I want to hang out and I try to be an alright guy and make jokes, but that doesn't seem to work. I've been asking her to hang out with June or July. She doesn't take me seriously whenever I tell her that I have no social life. She just tells me that it's going to be alright without ever really doing anything.

    Currently I'm not suicidal. I am getting there. I used to be suicidal about a year ago, but I was Baker Acted and stayed at a mental hospital for 3 days. Ever since then I keep telling myself that I'm going to completely change my life around. But I haven't at all. I'm still where I was a year ago.

    Why is getting a social life so hard?
     
  2. Rockster

    Rockster Guest

    Well first off welcome to the site, here you will find plenty of people who will want to help and some that are in similar situations. Although i am unable to relate to your problem what i can suggest is maybe just act yourself, but at the same time, take yourself out of the house more, learn what she is into and see if you share any common interests
     
  3. Lovecraft

    Lovecraft Well-Known Member

    Sometimes it's a bad hand. Certain people compliment others. A year ago I was in a highschool, and there I had some chums but nothing special. I was always the geeky one in school, and tossed aside often.

    Now I'm in a different school that is part of my residential hospital program. There, I can talk freely to anyone, am good friends with most of them and have a rib splitting laugh with them almost daily. I was called, and I quote "cool".

    I didn't change; not at all. Only the people around me. MAybe you need a new crowd, hm?
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello Eagles_Fan,

    Welcome to SF, I'm glad you found us!! :hug:

    Maybe some evening social activities would help you make friends? Such as joining a club or a new hobby etc...Please don't give up. There's no doubt in my mind that you will eventually have a normal social life. How old are you if you don't mind me asking? I'm always here if you need to talk :hug:

    Lynn
     
  5. Clockwork Reality

    Clockwork Reality Well-Known Member

    Hi, Eagles_Fan, and welcome aboard.

    I have to ask this . . . your screen name. I assume it refers to a sports team?

    I also have to ask where you are in your life right now . . . based on your post, I'm envisioning you as either a high school or university student. Is this an accurate assessment? What are your interests aside from music?

    As far as the girl . . . what I'm going to tell you may seem weird, but please hear me out. Don't work too hard at it! Just let your personality show through. Are you interested in dating her or just hanging out? I've had numerous relationships with women were the romance just wasn't there but we decided to be friends, and that's a perfectly valid alternative too.

    I know where you're coming from because I used to be in a similar circumstance. I'd come home from classes and hang out in my room without wanting to go anywhere, and it often took my mother calling me on the phone and nagging me to go out for debate team or apply for scholarships that I actually did anything. As soon as I left college, I returned to my reclusive ways and really only left the apartment to go to work. I've forced myself to find a circle of friends now because I was tremendously unhappy with my life before then.

    Don't get me wrong. I hate socializing with people and my first instinct is to avoid it. But socialization, I believe, is an innate human need. You've taken the first step by registering here, were there's a lot of people who have the same ways of thinking and background as you. So I believe, my friend, that some congratulations are in order!

    One of the next things that I'd recommend you do is making a list of your interests and then find events that you can go to to meet people (hence my asking about your screen-name). It can be a bit scary to just show up at an event where you don't know anybody, but you'll get to see something that you enjoy and you'll eventually start talking to people the longer you stay there. I love heavy metal, for example, so I went to a GWAR concert last year--and it was one of the most awesome things I've ever done. I have no regrets about it!

    Well, I know that this is a wall of text at this point, but I just wanted to throw my two cents out there. Again, welcome, and I hope that my words have been helpful. :biggrin:
     
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