i dont know what to do

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by xxicedragonxx, Mar 7, 2009.

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  1. xxicedragonxx

    xxicedragonxx Well-Known Member

    my life went so downhill in the past three days i dont know what else to do anymore...

    i just got out of jail... i got drunk at a bar and did things that i dont even remember... landed me in jail with two felony charges... jail is the worst thing in the entire world. i was in medical for the first twelve hours because i said i was going to kill myself. i got a paper suit and a pad on the floor. the lady i was in with kept taking showers so there was water all over me and my matress... well i say matress but it was a pad on the floor kinda like a gym pad. so yeah... then i get out of there and into regular... it sucks... i had violent charges so i wasnt allowed shit. i slept until my parents bailed me out.

    i come home and my girlfriend is here... not expecting me to be home... tells me half her stuff is already packed and she is going to live with her mom.

    this was last night... i tell her i will help her today... i stayed at my moms last night to give her some space... i come home at 1130 and there was a guy sleeping in my bed with her and all of her stuff is already done. she left with him a half hour ago to go to her moms.

    on top of this... i lost my phone... had to get a new one... all of my credit cards are now maxed out... and both my bank accounts are overdrawn. my roommate was supposed to pay rent yesterday... he is no where to be found... says next week. i still have to go talk to my boss and see if i have a job.

    i have to go on a pre trial program with mental evalutations and drug and alcohol tests. probably a curfew as well. its like probation before the sentence because i am out on a lessened bail right now.

    i dont know what to do... my life is completely fallen apart. i have no where left to turn and no where else to go. i probably only have my apt until rent is due next month and thats it. my phone is probably going to be turned off because i only paid half the bill... so what do i do now???

    ending it sounds pretty good to me...
  2. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    well......that is one hell of a bad week (or less...) i am so sorry all this is happening to you.

    do you have an attorney? if you get a medical evaluation re your suicidal feelings it may have an impact on any court outcome.

    can you stay with your parents?

    i am here to talk, if you want to. and we are all here for you to lean on....others may have more concrete advice. . .but i do think you should stay as strong as possible, and do not hurt yourself.

    there IS a way out and up from all of this - one small step at a time. but you have to stick it out through this darkest hour in order to get there. i know you can do it, and please allow us to help
    i'm here for you. don't go . . .:hug:
  3. xxicedragonxx

    xxicedragonxx Well-Known Member

    see... even on here no one cares... you are the only person to reply...

    whats the point of even trying to fix everything when you yourself are broken.
  4. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    It's not that nobody cares, sometimes we just don't know what to say or we have our own stuff going on.

    I'm sorry that doesn't really help your situation but I am thinking of you.
  5. xxicedragonxx

    xxicedragonxx Well-Known Member

    thats because i really hit the motherload of problems this time. what should i look foward to? more jail... probation?... or the nights i will spend alone thinking of her...

    my life is fucked... its time for the next one.
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey dragon,
    Getting a letter from your mental health professional is a good idea..It just might sway the judges decision..
  7. xxicedragonxx

    xxicedragonxx Well-Known Member

    yeah but i dont want them to lock me up in a mental hospital either. thats even worse because you dont get a time when you are out. you are out when you are "better" whatever the hell that is supposed to mean.
  8. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You know I think I would rather be in the hospital than jail..At least in the hospital you still have rights. I have been in the hospital ten times over the last fourteen years..The staff there are always professional. The floor techs make sure it is a safe environment, and look after you needs..Also your stay there will be alot shorter than jail time..Usually they only hold you until they see your not in crisis and then they discharge you..If you go in under a court order then you will have to go back in front of the judge so he can determin if you are ready...
  9. endlessskies58

    endlessskies58 Well-Known Member

    love, you just have to ride this out the best you can. you're stuck in a bad situation and time in your life, but its time will pass.

    for me, i always see the worst possible scenario in my head. always. i'm so pessimistic and emotional that i have a real hard time seeing the glass half full and not half empty sometimes.

    but life never ends out showing me that worst case scenario if i do my best... and i usually end up a little lucky too because people are more empathetic then they seem. they just have their own problems to deal with and so they seem like they don't care.

    you know you have a lot of options and outcomes. most of them aren't the preferred option, but they will produce an okay outcome(better than death). and you know your life best so think of all of them in a logical sense and not a emotional sense. look at all of them in a positive way instead of negatively and it should help you make the right decision.

    like, an example i find good is that i thought i had no way out when it came to my parents. i HATED them. and i assumed that they HATED me. all we would do is FIGHT. especially my dad and i because he is a drunk. we've said so many hurtful things to each other... so of course, the first thing i think of is to move out. but i didn't have a job and i didn't know what to do about school. i was going to move in with my boyfriend (bad idea because now we're broken up)

    in truth, my best option was to stay home even though it was emotionally killing me. so what i did was i knew i needed something to change... so what i would do is bite my tongue whenever we fought or i would be nice to them. after that, EVERYTHING changed. we never fight anymore... they don't pick fights either and now they are the most loving and caring parents...

    i just needed to change my attitude and not to assume things.

    i hope this helps a little. it is the best i can give. it will get better love. please know we are here and understand. LOVE
  10. xxicedragonxx

    xxicedragonxx Well-Known Member

    im trying to ride it out. its just one punch after another. i think my ex is dating one of my old friends and i introduced them... they keep telling me no but i dont believe them...

    i dunno... i cant take anything else right now... im sitting on the proverbial fence and im falling backward real fast.

    its either i care and die or dont care and mess everything up more.

    cant deal with it.
  11. endlessskies58

    endlessskies58 Well-Known Member


    don't feel that way love...

    hmmm... don't quote me on this but your ex sounds kind of... i dunno... maniacal? shady? :unsure:

    she has to know deep down that what she's doing is kinda... mean?... especially the timing its just... hmmm... i don't know her or how you guys were in your relationship but maybe that's what she wants you to feel?... like it's all your fault so she looks like the innocent one and feels that way too? :unsure:

    that is, if she IS seeing this dude and you've felt like everything was fine in the relationship... because from what you've written that sounds kinda... then again... she could just be angry about this situation and be looking for comfort from someone... like a rebound? she just needs time to cool off...

    everything heals with time...

    but just how she did it as well as the timing... it was wrong, especially if she didn't communicate with you about anything...

    do you know what i mean? i might be WRONG so don't quote me on that... :sad:

    if she's already seeing someone and he's your friend then i don't know if you want to stick with this girl anyways... :sad: this maybe a good thing in the long run that she's gone... it just hurts right now... believe me i know its hard but please try to think positive.

    but you didn't completely mess up love. you will be fine... just take this as a learning lesson. we mess up so we know how to not do it again and grow more as a person.

    and hey... at least you don't have a boring life for sure... once you get past this i'm sure you'll have a good story to tell, ya? :tongue:

    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 9, 2009
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