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i dont know what to do

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Beautiful Disaster, Mar 15, 2009.

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  1. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    Hello lovelies

    Im really worried about some people on the forum.
    and i really wanna help but im also afraid that im saying the wrong things,
    and it frustrates me to hear that people are so sad and that there is not much that i can do aside from listening and try to support them

    how do all you deal with that?
  2. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    just speak your mind. speak the truth. not all deserve sympathy. some deserve a hard knock on their heads for wanting to kill themselves over petty issues but becareful cos some really had unsolvable issues too. :)
  3. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    I disagree with that.

    Emotionally unstable can be knocked over the edge with what seems like nothing to other people.

    There's really too many variables too be able to say what does and doesn't warrant suicidal feelings.
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I would say try to communicate with people. Ask them what they need right now, or if you can help, or if they want you to 'listen'/advise/be a sounding board, etc. The more you communicate, the easier it is on both sides. Of course, essentially you can't do anything aside from be there, and sometimes that's all people need.

    It is hard being here. Mainly you need to look after yourself, and then after that try to gain confidence supporting and helping people if that's what you want to do.
  5. Lovecraft

    Lovecraft Well-Known Member

    I just don't have a savior's complex. I'm not really interested in helping people.
  6. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Hi BD, first of all I'd like to say that I think it's great that you care about others. The more of us here who can help each other the better for all of us.
    I think the issue you have raised about how to do that is something that many of us think about. We are not trained in doing this kind of thing but because we're all kind of in the same boat I think we can understand each other better than many professionals who have never been in a similar situation themselves. I personally think the most important thing is not to judge anyone. We all have different reasons as to why we are here and no one reason is more valid than another. It's how people are feeling right now that matters. We probably all get it wrong at times but we can only do our best. I try to take a few minutes just to think what I am going to say before I post anything and I tend to steer away from threads which I have no experience of. I think it is also agood idea to be aware that some posts may be triggering and we can sometimes react in inappropriate ways. I know I have made this mistake in the past and a couple of people slated me for it. I think that because you are aware of the possible problems your help will be a valuable contribution to the forum. Best wishes.
    If anyone does have a go for saying the wrong thing don't take it personally. It's probably their own issues that are coming up.:smile:
  7. Overruled

    Overruled Active Member

    bcs is right. What you see as petty might be too much for others.

    If you really want to help others, here's something you all really need to consider.

    Think about pain as a percentage. There are two variables:

    A) Level of pain
    B) Maximum pain capacity

    The percentage that A is of B will be different for everyone, because people will have different numbers for B. As such their issues will affect them differently.

    How do I get through dealing with this? Easy. I'm a cold, emotionless, empty soul with experience in these areas, and a personal interest in seeing how people with problems relate, react, and deal with their problems.

    Learning how to properly help people with their problems is not something you should really worry about being on here, people come here for confidence from others, because they feel they do not have it in themselves. However, they do, and they only realise it because of the bits and bytes we put on their screen.

    Your bits and bytes, however insignificant to you they may seem, could quite literally be saving lives, even if you can't save everyone. No-one can.

    So do what you can to be supportive and recommend them to people who actually have knowledge about these things, or a psychiatrist with a bit of paper. Both will do. :p
  8. BlueWind

    BlueWind Well-Known Member

    Do your best because 'bestest' doesn't exist!

    & yes look after yourself first & foremost b/c if u feel bad it's much harder to help others ...

    My advice is to keep away from too many triggering threads & leave it to others who can handle them...for example members like Overruled

    I've seen a few of ur posts & think that u are just great!

    Ur gentle & sometimes funny 'visitor msgs', ur kisses & hugs, surely make the receivers feel good about themselves & that is just perfect stuff...

    U put a smile on my face everytime you drop by!...:smile:

    God bless child, u r a real Angel (i call u 'child' b/c i am old)
    :hug::cuddle2::rose: xx
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 20, 2009
  9. Mightbehere

    Mightbehere Well-Known Member

    This is a support site, however this is not a professional site.
  10. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    hun, many or i should say most of the people who comes here knows that we are peoeple in pain also. if u dont feel u can give an advice, then listen to them, sometimes people need someone to listen to them in times of dispair so they can take everything out of their chests.
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