fuck it all. i know none of you know me and i dont expect anyone to answer or care i just need to rant because typing keeps my hands busy and i'm scared if i stop writing i will si more and i've already fucking bled all over the place or finally just fucking put myself out of my misery and take the drugs i have next to me. i'm such a waste of space. how pathetic am i? i was watching a movie earlier and started crying because it was supposed to be one of those chick flicks where everyone is happy in the end and all i could think of is that i will never have that, i don't deserve it. i'm such a fuck up. i am getting what i deserve. whatever thats how my life is. i'm so fucking sick of everything. to whoever is reading this, i'm sorry i wasted your time. i'm sick of crying. i'm tired of being numb and hurting so mmuch at the same time. i don't know.