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I dont know what to do

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Twisti, Apr 3, 2009.

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  1. Twisti

    Twisti Member

    I have no one to talk to about whats going on with me...no one who cares to listen anyway...all i do when DH is at work is cry, take meds to not "feel" but they dont work so i take more thinking they will make things go away. They never do..if i talk to my husband about how I feel he will just say im stresssed, get some rest ect. Thats not it...

    Two months ago i tried to die, it didnt work, not enough of the wrong kind of med the nurse said as he was pumping my stomach, i was in a "nut house" for two weeks and get on things that would help stabelize my moods...well it didnt work, my doc here took me off of them yet asks me if ive made an appt to "talk to someone" HELL no ive not why? Im only just another person to them...

    I have alot of health problems, some that cause me alot of pain, im sooooo sick of hurting all the time, im so sick of not being able to be a "normal" mommy to my 3 year old little girl and not being able to chase her around and play...its not fair for her to have me as a mother. I have a mother who i call but only wants to talk about herself and her life and i wouldnt trust her with MY info anyway the liar. I just feel so alone. always. Why didnt it work the first time, why cant I do it now...Im scared but not scared....just stupid and alone...im sorry my first post is a whiny one but its just me right now.

    I also miss my son so much and no no matter how i leave this world he will be there for me. he was stillborn almost 5 years ago and the pain isnt any better. Like he left us yesterday.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 3, 2009
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member


    I'm really sorry for giving you a rubbish reply, but I wanted you to know I had read. I'm not in any sort of space to say anything useful, but I have read and I have heard what you said and how bad you feel.

    I hope you stick around and that talking does help.
  3. Twisti

    Twisti Member

    Just knowing you read this helps...thanks
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry things are so rough right now...but I think posting here and getting it out may be helpful...I am also in chronic pain, so I truly understand how it changes one's life...it is hard to think about anything else sometimes...but I am also sure, from the way you sound, your little girl is lucky to have you...please continue to let us know how you are...big hugs, J
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Twisti,
    Welcome to the forum!! I have read your words and can feel your pain. Loosing your son must have been devastating.. Just know he is in a better place.. He didn't have to come to this shit world..I know about constant pain also.. I suffer from migrane headaches all the time, and when I don't have a migrane I still have a headache.. I feel like chopping my head off just to get rid of the throbbing.. Just want you to know your not alone.. You have us now to lean on, to talk to, or to even vent your anger..You don't have to apologise for speaking your feelings.. Thats what we are here for..Take Care!!!
  6. Twisti

    Twisti Member

    thank you so much everyone
  7. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    It was really bad timing for the forum to go down shortly after you posted. I did think about you and wonder how you are. How are you? Has posting helped at all?
  8. Twisti

    Twisti Member

    Im hangin in here, by a string....thanks for asking :)
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