I don't know what to do....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by rmt, Jul 4, 2009.

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  1. rmt

    rmt New Member

    I am devestated. My husband of 23 years has just left me, with no real reason, and no advanced warning, two days before our wedding anniversary. We were both living in the uk, both working for the same company - and I just lost it, and came home to be with family in Australia. Our son lives here - and my boss wants me to come back - but I don't know if I can. I want to die, but I don't want to upset my son (god, it just sucks being a parent sometimes).
    My family have been great, and telling me that they all love me - but it is now Saturday night - my son is a work, I am here alone, and even though my family love me - I have never felt so alone in my life. I can't stop crying, I don't want to go back to the Uk - but if I don't I won't have a job, and that will just make things worse.
    I feel worthless, and keep going over the last years over and over in my head. I thought things were good - no more arguements than a normal marriage, and I have not only lost my husband - but my best friend.
    There doesn't seem to be any point going on... I have had a job offer here in Australia from a guy I used to work for - but he wasn't a very good employer, but I don't think I can face the UK - even typing in this forum - I see what he was getting at (the husband) - I try to hard (I keep correcting my spelling) - but I never saw this as a fault.
    I am so alone.....is there any point going on??? It all just seems too hard...
  2. just.me

    just.me Account Closed

    Hi and welcome to SF
    I wonder, how old are you?
    Thing is that every time we loose someone we love,
    we automatically going threw depression,
    this is how our body punish us for loosing a partner.
    You shouldn't worry though, give it some time and your pain will go away
    look forward, make logical choices and try to ignore emotions for a while
    you don't want to loose your job, but you can talk to your boss,
    and explain to him what you are going threw,
    if you find it difficult to work, he will help you by giving you like a month off work
    or something like that, its not like he have a choice, if you cant work...

    I would of recommend you to visit a doctor
    ask for some temporary anti depressants
    but only if you feel like you really need them

    additional thing you can do is get busy with something intersting
    it will take your mind of the pain

    hope you will get better soon
    good luck
  3. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    First of all Welcome to SF you'll find lots of support here. As for your husband... I'm very sorry :hug: I know how tough it is to lose the person you love. You just have to keep fighting try and move on (which I know will be very hard since you were married for 23 years) you just have to ask yourself if its worth giving up just over your husband. You have a son and family there in australia you just have to look for them for support. They will give you plenty of support in your time of need. As for trying too hard I know I'm guilty of that sometimes. I am also one that like to try and make sure every word is typed correctly so thats not a bad thing at all. Maybe it might be best for you to try employment in australia if its too hard for you to be in the UK maybe start out with your old boss and in the process look for a different job.
  4. rmt

    rmt New Member

    Thanks guys, I have just turned 40 (and he leaves....)
    I just don't want to burden my son or family with all my stupid stuff going on...I just don't know how to begin a new life - I work in hospitality - so how can I be nice to other people when I feel like this?
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums!! I know how rough it is to loose the one you love.. I went back to my wife six times and it just didn't work.. I wanted my daughter to have both parents..It wasn't meant to be.. You will get over this eventually.. One day you will go from greif to anger.. That should help you get over him that much sooner..Alot of us just grow apart as we age..Maybe he is going thru the midlife crisis I always hear about..As far as jobs go I agree with the OP who suggested you take the job in Australia.. You can keep your eyes open for another job..Take Care!!
  6. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forums. Sorry you've had to go through this, i can't imagine what it must feel like.
    Maybe you could do with a job change? Or ask for a bit of time off for personal reasons. I'm sure your family wouldn't feel burdened, they'll understand that you're experiencing a lot of pain and want to help you, it could help to talk to them.
    Maybe seeing a therapist would help you, to be able to discuss what happened and help you move on from him?
    Hope you get things sorted soon.
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Has he given you a reason for sudden departure. Maybe he is going through change of life. Did you bring up couselling with him. I can't imagine how hurt and betrayed you feel but know the emotions the pain will lessen I agree that you should get councilling for yourself to get through all this You deserve to get the help you need I would send the bill to him. I am glad you came here for support too any time you need support or just vent we are here. Take care of you get a good therapist okay
  8. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    hi rmt :hug: i'm sorry you had to go through this, but please keep strong and talk to us. have you tried to find out why he left? maybe give it some time? this must be very hard but you need to keep a clear head about this and see how things pan out :hug:
    as with the job thing, could you not look for a different job so you could stay with your son? it's best to be with family and friends right now so try to seek comfort with them.
    thinking of you :heart:
    triggs xx
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