bills are piling up. work is scarce. i am a jerk. today the wind caught my car door and smashed it into another car. fairly good ding. i just fled. i wanted to leave a note with my info but i can't afford to pay a deductible or higher insurance rates right now. that would pretty much sink me. i felt terrible and now just feel guilty. if there is any karma in the world i'll get run down by a bus tomorrow. somehow i think i'd be ok with this. is it wrong to just want the pain to stop, at any cost?