i dont know what to do

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Sammon, Apr 10, 2010.

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  1. Sammon

    Sammon Member

    i havnt cut in a couple of weeks since my parents nearly found out from my school. but its almost all i think about i feel so low all the time, i dont enjoy anything, i dont want to do anything. normally i am always doing something one sport or another but these past few months i havnt wanted to. all i want to do is stay in bed and just lay there. its easter holidays so i am stuck in this hell hole with no escape. i have no friends at the moment, they just dont talk to me anymore so i have to put up with my mum always shouting, saying all these things about me that i no are true but i dont need her to keep saying.
    my head of year asked me a question a few weeks back... what positive characteristics do u have? i didnt answer what was i meant to say. it was the first time i had ever had to think about it. i couldnt think of anything... the more i think about it the more i realise that i really cant think of anything.she told me that next time we spoke she wanted me to tell her what i thought were my positives and my negatives. she hasnt mentioned it since so im hoping she has forgotten. i dont really want to have that conversation with her. i could think of plenty of negatives.
    i help out in alot of sports lessons but last week i was talking to one of the pairs when they had asked me what i had done to my arm. they had seen my scars. i really didnt know what to say so i just tried to ignore the subject. i dont want to carry on like that. being put into those sorts of situations but what can i do the scars are there they arnt going to dissapear just like i dont know how the urge to cut is going to dissapear.
    wednesday night things kicked off with my mum. i came up to my room trying to resit the urge. so instead i stratched. i didnt think i had done it that hard but when i looked down my arm was bleeding.
    i dont know how to stop this. i dont know how to make these feelings go away.
     
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