I don't know what to do

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Raphael1, Nov 20, 2010.

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  1. Raphael1

    Raphael1 Well-Known Member

    I'm laying here with my laptop in my bed listening to shortstack, and nothing has changed. I'm still alone with no future. I stay up late at night and sleep all day. I met this girl through the internet but she is in Belarussia. How am I going to see her? I'm in Australia. I just can't afford her ticket and she would have no-where to stay. It's so depressing.

    I haven't been eating to well. And drinking. I'm getting desperate and I can't cope. That comfortable feeling of death is still with me.
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    are you being treated for depression? disordered sleep is one of the main symptoms, well that and feeling suicidal. meds and a good therapist can make a real difference.
  3. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    Be careful of getting scamed with the international dating thing.

    Staying up all night and sleeping all day messes with you, I think. It would probably be good to try to get up early/ go to bed early.

    Eating better and getting some exercise, fresh air, and sunshine would probably help.

    You might want to have your vitamin d levels checked. If you can't break out of the staying up all night routine, you'll probably need more vitamin d because you wont be able to get any from sunlight.
  4. Raphael1

    Raphael1 Well-Known Member

    Hi guys.

    I'm not being treated for depression. I feel that I am on enough medication.
    For example zyprexa 2.5mg and Sodium Valproate 200mg. I wish to get off these in less than 6 months.

    It seems my problem is in my lifestyle that is making me depressed. My lack of a life. Not merely a chemical imbalance that can be addressed with pills. I'm skeptical that a therapist could really help me and I doubt I can afford one.

    As for being scammed with international dating. That's unlikely. As it's not a dating site. I met her on camera and know she is real. She isn't terribly interested in me so I don't know if it will go anywhere. But she did give me her address and her birthday is on 3rd of December. She suggested a card and a gift. I don't know if I can do it.

    I met another girl and she said she wanted to meet me in real life. She is just as beautiful. Both have seen me on camera. I'm 100% certain this is not a scam either. I'm torn between this girl and the other one. But both of these I will not be able to visit for some time. As I need to get my finances in order to do anything. If I get into a relationship with either one of these women it will be a miracle.

    I'm sure I am deficient in vitamins. I do need more exercise and sunshine. I just haven't got my act together. I feel like giving up.
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Giving up is not the answer here...you have written several things that you can do for yourself...why not try to get moving on those...make a work plan for yourself, with small, reasonable goals and see what you can do to accomplish them...big hugs, J
  6. Raphael1

    Raphael1 Well-Known Member

    hey again I was meant to give the girl I have a crush on a birthday present but i haven't sent it and I said I would talk to her but I haven't. I miss her all the time.

    I'm so depressed right now. The only thing that's going to save me if i can get into a relationship with this girl. It seems unlikely.
  7. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    Did you say that she suggested a card and a gift or did I read that wrong? Seriously I think you should stay away from women you meet on the internet, I don't care if you can see them on camera. Looks are the last thing you should be looking for in a relationship anyway. They mean nothing.
    Yes, you need to change your lifestyle and that's where a therapist can help. They can sort out achievable goals for you and lead you through the whole process. It can be overwhelming if you try to do it yourself.
    Once you feel more in control, you'll find it easier to strike up a relationship with someone you meet in real life.
    Have a think about therapy, I think it could really help you. xxx
  8. Raphael1

    Raphael1 Well-Known Member

    Yes she suggested it. Thanks Catherine I think you are right. I'm not ready for a relationship. But I cant seem to let this go. It's painful.

    I'm a bit reluctant to see a therapist. I prefer to solve problems by myself.

    have not talked to either girl since Thursday. But I'm just not ready to let this go yet.

    I'm feeling better tonight. The other night was terrible.
  9. Tealc

    Tealc Banned Member

    its easy to get sucked into an internet relationship, sometimes they work sometimes they don't.
    i was lucky to meet someone amazing, didn't work but i am better for it.

    if you have doubts then walk away, put yourself first and concentrate only on you. i know it seems hard but everything is a learning curve.
    yes its been said before but you never know whats round the corner, hang in there and just see how things pan out.
  10. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    I can understand your reluctance to see a therapist, I'd rather sort things out myself too. The problem is that you're not sorting them out are you?
    If I had a broken leg, I'd rather sort that myself too, but I know I've got to go and see a doctor. This is much the same thing. There's only so far you can go alone and after that, you need the help.
    You shouldn't look at it as 'help' though. Look at it as a learning curve instead with a teacher to help you along. Remind yourself that what you learn will help you to help others in the future.
    I'm really glad to see that you're feeling better tonight, that's good news. Sending hugs xxxx
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