I am recently divorced (April 06). It was my doing. My fault. I split up the family. I felt like I couldn't take things anymore and marriage counceling wasn't helping. Our son, now 16 moved in with my ex about two months (Feb) after we split (Dec 05). He doesn't want to live with me. My 24 yr old daughter lives her for now. My ex called tonight and said he couldn't take it anymore and that we needed to go back to court about our son. I told him I would take him home, but they both said no. My son does not want to live with me. My ex can't handle things anymore. He lets him do whatever he wants and I have rules over here tht my son doesn't want to live by. I went over their house to try and help, but as usual wasn't much help. I was just told this is all my fault (It is) and that I never do anything to help. He says I'm not supportive and if we would have stayed together we would not be in this place. He right. I just don't know what to do. I feel like not trying anymore. I'm not crying, not upset, I'm not anything. I feel like the worst mom in the world and like I should have just tried to make it until our son graduated high school at least. I'm ok with dying. I have thought about it a long time. I feel at peace with it. I have a will. I wanted to make sure my old family would have enough money to help themselves move forward. And I think is tonight the night? I wish I could magically be dead. I think I am too much of a wuss to go through with it. Sorry about the posting. I'm an idiot.