its been 22 days since i last cut. i decided to tell my mate id been cutting she made me promise to stop. the look of horror on my face when she saw them does help me from doing it. but really what i want is to kill myself. one of the only reasons i dont commit suicide is because i dont want a stranger to find my body yet i couldnt let one of my family or friends find me because it could scar them for life. the other main reason is my suicide would just be some gossip for people to talk about like any other thing. i dont want my friends to have to listen to everyone talking about me doing it why i did it or someone to tell my mum she wasnt a good mum so thats why i did it. if i solve a way for that to happen id do it right now. jump out my window, hang myself or overdose. please help i dont want to feel this way