I Dont Know What To Do

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by xjodieleex, Sep 10, 2011.

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  1. xjodieleex

    xjodieleex New Member

    My fiancée and I have had the mother of all rows tonight and afterwards he told me he didn't love me any more... a little while later I asked him again and he said he didn't know. That his head was messed up and he couldn't answer me.

    He's taken the dog out for a walk now to clear his head and think things through, im just terrified that he's going to come home and say that he doesn't love me any more for definite.

    I love him so much and am so scared of losing him, I don't know what I would do without him.

    I am agoraphobic which puts a lot of stress on both of us, I moved up here in November, 150 miles away from my friends and family to be with him. If we split up I have nothing to go back to, I will have no where to live, nothing. I love him so much. I just can't find the words to say it to him right now when I don't know how he feels about me.

    We've been together just over a year now and in all that time I have managed not to self harm. It was a huge problem for me for years and since being with him I have managed to stop doing it and not relapse. Now I feel like I am close to relapsing and I feel like I don't want to live without him.

    I'm terrified that I am going to lose him and that if I do I will have no where to go and will end up on the streets, which being agoraphobic is the worst possible thing.

    I thought I would never need this site again, I really thought I was sorting things out. Admittedly my problems have gotten worse considering my Social Phobia has progressed into Agoraphobia, but other than that I have had a handle on things.

    I have so many thoughts in my head, I just needed to get them out and maybe someone will say something that helps me put things into perspective.

    I know I should just tell him I love him and that I'm sorry for the argument and that I still want to be with him, but I cannot bring myself to do it while there is a chance that he will turn around and say he no longer loves me.

    I really have no idea what I will do without him. I can't go home, none of them know about the Agoraphobia, and they were never very understanding about the social phobia so I can't see them accepting this. I can't stay here as I don't know anyone. I literally have nothing without him. I'm scared of what I will do if I lose him.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I sure hope he comes back and acknowledges what he has...any big fight might have us say things we do not mean...please let us know how this turns out and how you are doing...most of us are stronger than we give ourselves credit for, but I sure hope you do not have to test that theory...big hugs
     
  3. xjodieleex

    xjodieleex New Member

    He came back with a clear head and we sorted it out. He told me he does love me and that he regrets saying he didn't. :)
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun i hope he does not continue to do this to you hun When all is calm and both of you are able sit down and talk about the fears you have okay and his fears as well open that line of communication when both of you are stable okay
    i am so happy he came back and that you did not sh hugs
     
  5. xjodieleex

    xjodieleex New Member

    That was the first time he's ever done that. I honestly don't think he meant it when he said he didn't love me, his head was just messed up from the row and stress etc.

    We're all back to normal now, it really helped being able to get things out on here.
     
  6. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    I'm glad to hear this good news! :hug: Wishing you the best with your relationship...Mr. A
     
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