Well - if you think about it - maybe God not killing you is a sign in itself that God cares - but I'm not here to sell any religious lines to you and there is nothing worse than a 'god-botherer' who stalks people feeling down down and then throws some guilt trip on them.
Some people LOVE the bully pulpit - and like to make us feel like depression is a punishment from God.
Hey! - of course many here will carry that also. For me the basic code of Christianity in a loose sense is something I took. It was there - 2000 years of thinking - so I decided that my life was too short to work it all out and I might as well take something that has continuity. The Human Race is not going to reinvent itself - we've spent the past few thousand years basically fu**** up each other - and in the last couple of centuries we have impacted on the planet - evidence of our tenancy on this planet is all around us - we're blundering, stumbling and we are idiots!
Well - maybe the royal 'we' is a word we have no use for here. I might be part of humanity but I'm not buying into some parts of it. I'm not the man who built nuclear bombs and had the audacity to say that it bought peace.
I think the schools ought to TEAR UP most of those God Awful books they use for history - and study books written before history was censored and altered - so that a few humans can feel better about themselves. Equal rights? You tell me - if we get ten people here and give them an algebra test - are we equal?
Do we all run the same speed?
Equality for me means equal access to a quality of life. Health care - education - water and shelter and nutritional food. Right now - that's not happening!
But God cannot help us on that - we already have everything we need - more than enough food for everyone on the planet - everything we need really is here.
But - lets forget all the religious hocus pocus - don't put too much trust in the words of men. Praying to God - I don't know how it works but I don't pray for myself - but do confess I've prayed a million times to die - well - I was young and knew no better.
At some point in life - you lose a loved one - and that's when it hits you - life is short - we barely have enough time to say 'hello' and 'goodbye' - its THAT fast once you get to the point whereby your 80 and looking back - so fast - everyone says that - last words of my old headmaster - a man of great intelligence.
So the thing is holding on! If your young I know your looking ahead and recreating some dark vision of your life - generally one in which you imagine you will not find friendship or love - not even happiness!
Well - depression does that - and depression is not some magical mystery - its not demons - its just the frailty of the human condition and the subsequent doubts which arise as we plod along.
You think your alone - but take a look out the window - there is someone like you in your street - for sure. Actually a few.
You think your alone - then you stumble on this forum - could have been anyone of a 100 millions others but not so - your here.
You can read other people here who have been through all the various stages of depression - some have attempted to die - obviously failed as they would not be here to say to us "its a BAD idea to attempt'
Even worse is keeping things to yourself - allowing thoughts to accumulate like a snowdrift at your door. At worse you become 'trapped' in your own mind - cannot 'connect' with others as you imagine nobody would or ever could understand how you feel.
Well - I think your wrong on that one.
Hope you can open up a little more about what's getting you or anyone else down.