It scares me doing this. I've never been good at reaching out, but I'm at the point where I really don't know what to do. I don't have anyone to go to. I should say there are people that I could go to, but what will they do? I can't be a burden. Honestly, I've been feeling suicidal for a long time. It's like the thought it is something to fall back on. I'll start thinking that I hate myself and I can't handle my situation and it's almost comforting to think, well, I should just kill myself and get out of the way. I don't want to hurt the people around me. That's what is keeping me from doing anything- other then cutting and crying every time I have a second alone. Lately I feel like I'm really losing it and I don't know what is wrong with me. So anyway, that's why I went looking for a site like this one.