I don't know what to do

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by carebear32, Sep 18, 2012.

  1. carebear32

    carebear32 Well-Known Member

    Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you know what the problem is you just don't know how to fix it? I've thinking a lot about what I learned about myself while I was in hospital. I know I'm a people pleaser and I don't know how to say "no" to others and that's causing me a lot of stress. In my head I can say "no", but then I get incredibly guilty and end up giving in. Also my family seems to have figured this out and so make me feel guilty before I get the chance to even answer. I'm at a crossroad of my own making and I don't know how to get out of it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    SEt boundaries and keep them ok You have a line rehearsed in your head and keep saying it until they get it NO NO NO i have to look after me first hugs
  3. Anom

    Anom New Member

    The worst thing you can do to someone is to show indifference. No is such a powerful word, no one should have the right to take that from you. I know I might sound hypocritical given how I feel screwed up as well, but I know that if they are taking advantage of you, you should let them know. If they try to hurt you, be indifferent. You need to be respected as much as anyone.
  4. ripples

    ripples Member

    Guilt complex i can relate to, it arises from anxiety, where you theory of your dialoging partner's mind is too 'near' to heart, your heart. This enforces a negative feedback loop where you misinterpret to level of psychological pain that person is suffering as your own. Often over-bearing parenthood, particularly motherhood imprints this instruction set (my experience), and i honestly think it is a psychosis. Deal with you anxiety first, then learn new (more rational) ways to relate to people. People get hurt from myriads of causes, tough.

    Do you feel paranoid?