Im in crisis. I hate how im feeling. I cant believe im feeling like this again. I dont want to die but i dont want to live with anorexia anymore either, its not alife. I have an appointment tomorrow with my psychiatrist tomorrow and its scaring me so much. I cant cope with anymore rejection. I want to cause myself pain and harm but i cant do this to my family again. Not on new years again. I want out but i dont know where out is. I dont know how to have a life, i dont know how to live,,.,and thats scaring me. I dont know how to get through today.