I don't know what to say to my friend - TRIGGER WARNING

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by iambutamonster, Sep 4, 2014.

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  1. iambutamonster

    iambutamonster New Member


    So a old friend of mine just had a huge conversation with me that threw me for a loop. He told me that when he was around 10-11 he did indecent things to someone younger than him. At the time he said he thought nothing was wrong. But about 13years down the road now he's telling me that he thinks he should kill himself. I don't really know what to tell him because I really don't see a positive outcome for him. He's not a bad guy, but this is about as damining as it gets. The person in question is not mad at him atm and has not brought it up. But he feels like he's just waiting for the day that everyone he cares about will be disgusted with him and hate him. And when he will be sent to jail, and have a fat "Child molester" sticker posted on him for the rest of his life. I didn't know what to tell him because I think I might have come to the same conclusion if i had been in his shoes.

    Do you guys have any advice. Because I have no idea how to even remotely respond.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 4, 2014
  2. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Suggest that he find a talking professional. Would be the best option to consider having someone a bit better trained because the guilt of 13 years build up has got to him. And they are best placed to support through wrongdoings (and this is a pretty bad thing to have done which he's aware of) - but the talking therapist is my option for that.
  3. echo

    echo Member

    depends on the case

    but if it really is a sicko you must exercise caution as they are the worst predators

    - then there is a fine line between tolerance and respect -- vengeance and vigilance
  4. FMyLife

    FMyLife Chat Buddy

    Read and understand the entire post when you reply. As it states this happened when he person in question was very young. Most kids that age don't know and obviously he suffers severe pain from it now. I hardly think that the term "sicko" is appropriate here.

    As stated by Meaningless-vessel, urge your friend to speak to someone about the past. Maybe they can help him bring closure to the situation and help him manage his depression from it. The past and that one time doesn't dictate him as a predator or any other classification some uneducated person wants to put on him. He is not labeled and will not be labeled for something that took place as a child. If it is hurting him that bad, he really needs to seek the help of a professional.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm kinda confused to be honest. He was very young so may not have even known right from wrong at that age and is feeling guilt about it now-he definitely should see a counsellor?
    I read your post a few times but I am confused, is he actually going to jail, did the person report him? You need to give more info hun.
  6. echo

    echo Member

    lol - are you an angel ? -- i'm not - i'm just thinking of public safety --- just assuming the best of people on this topic is very dangerous
  7. FMyLife

    FMyLife Chat Buddy

    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 4, 2014
  8. echo

    echo Member

    fact is you don't know the whole story - and as i said believing the best in people on this topic is very dangerous -- and btw you have made insulting judgments on me -- you should try understanding the consequences of gambling on people
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter


    Please keep this thread on topic or infractions will be issued, I do not want to have to close this thread due to bitterness and sniping. Pleased stay on topic and if you want to reply, then reply with some advice or support for the OP.
  10. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    A lot of children experiment and it may be no more than that, but has somehow become bigger in your friend's mind.
    A counsellor would be able to put some perspective on the whole, as long as this was the only incident and he doesn't want to repeat it.
  11. FMyLife

    FMyLife Chat Buddy

    This pretty much sums up my first posting, and I'm glad someone was able to put it to useful terms. I hope that you are able to urge your friend to speak to someone.
  12. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Seconded on Terrys comment.

    Sums it up.
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