I had married a very bad man. I've been divorced for 8 months. I am in a relationship with a very good man, and we've been seeing each other for a while now. I am plagued by two desires. A desire for his presence, and a desire to be alone, to get to know myself. He talks about getting married. I could see myself with him, but it doesn't feel right. At least not now. I feel awful, because I would tell him "yes I would marry you". At that time, I meant it wholeheartedly. I'm so frustrated because this feeling has been growing inside me. I want to love this man, and have him in mine and my son's life. But now, I'm in no hurry to walk down the aisle again. And I think I need some time alone. Last night, I tried to tell him some things that have bothered me. In October, he sent a woman a shirtless picture of himself with his zipper half undone on his jeans. He apologized, and said he screwed up. He's made amends. But I can't seem to completely forget it. I'll go for a while not thinking about it. In the most inopportune time, it slithers back into my thoughts and I feel angry and betrayed. I'm old-fashioned. I believe in monogamy even if its an antiquated notion. I don't know how to let him down. It shouldn't be this way. I shouldn't be questioning things, or feeling these things. I shouldn't be holding old things over his head. I'm not ready for another marriage. I don't know what to say to him to let him down without making him feel like he did something wrong.