I dont know what to tell my son, I am very sick and might need surgery, if i die.....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by roro, Jul 31, 2007.

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  1. roro

    roro Well-Known Member

    I am having medical problems and very sick and I go friday to the doctor who wanted me to go for surgery back in feb.

    I am not afraid to die, I just dont want to suffer, I have been sufferig for so long and in a lot of pain, and on pain meds.

    Anyway, I have a 17 year old son, and I dont know what to tell him. I dont want to worry him for nothing if i pull through. but if something happens I dont want him to be sad.

    I have been thinking for a long time that if they find out I am terminal I will go to oregon and get physician assisted suicide. but i would never do it if it would hurt my son. i havent talked to him about it because i dont want to burden him with my problems.

    i am writing a letter to my son for my husband to give him in case i dont make it. i will say that if i die dont be sad because i am at peace and was suffering with the pain, and to go on to college and I will be watching his soccer games and his wrestling meets from heaven with his grandfather.

    but will he be mad that I never said good-bye while i was alive?
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Re: I dont know what to tell my son, I am very sick and might need surgery, if i die.

    What an awful predicament...I think we have to remember how finite everyone's life is...and yes, your medical problems do put you at risk for having a shortened time here...I think what you tell him depends on his maturity, but I also think he should know that something is going on...hoping you pull through this and that all of this worry was for naught...big hugs
     
  3. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Re: I dont know what to tell my son, I am very sick and might need surgery, if i die.

    I'm sorry about the situation you're in, it really does sound difficult. Have you spoken to your husband about this? What does he suggest you do?
     
  4. Sorcery

    Sorcery Member

    Re: I dont know what to tell my son, I am very sick and might need surgery, if i die.

    Your son will not hold it against you if you don't get the chance to say goodbye; after all, it is with him in mind that you refrain from saying anything that's not certain. I wish you and your son the best of luck in these trying times :hug:.
     
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Re: I dont know what to tell my son, I am very sick and might need surgery, if i die.

    Your son does need to kn ow the risks you may be facing. Unless he is extrememly immature, at 17 he is old enough to know. He may have many questions for you. One idea may be for you to have him go with you to your appointment and when the doctor is giving you information, your son could set in and ask any questions he may have. It will make him feel as if he is part of what is going on and gives a little sense of control over the situation. Hopefuly things go well and saying goodbye won't be necessary. Not only does it give him a chance to say goodbye, but you as well. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts. I wish you only the best. Take care roro, as best you can under the circumstances. :hug:
     
  6. corral

    corral Guest

    Re: I dont know what to tell my son, I am very sick and might need surgery, if i die.

    im sorry about your illness.
    i hope you pull thorugh.
    it depends on your son, only you can know what is the best to do.
    i would think that he would regret not knowing the truth because if he did maybe he would have said some things that he didnt get to not knowing the truth, do some things.
    what does your husband think?
    stay well.
     
  7. justsomeguy

    justsomeguy Active Member

    Re: I dont know what to tell my son, I am very sick and might need surgery, if i die.

    The way I see it is that either way your son is going to be sad. If I were you I'd probably sit him down and give him the truth. I mean, if it was your mother who was dying wouldn't you want to know the truth?
     
  8. kindtosnails

    kindtosnails Staff Alumni

    Re: I dont know what to tell my son, I am very sick and might need surgery, if i die.

    i hope that you do pull through, but i agree with some of the others, that being honest and truthful about it would be for the best. i just think it would be a lot easier to cope with - if the worst did happen - if he were prepared. At 17, he may well already be aware of the seriousness of the situation anyway, and your talking to him can only reassure him. i also think Gentle made some excellent suggestions.

    Wish you and your family the best. :arms:

    x
     
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