I am having medical problems and very sick and I go friday to the doctor who wanted me to go for surgery back in feb. I am not afraid to die, I just dont want to suffer, I have been sufferig for so long and in a lot of pain, and on pain meds. Anyway, I have a 17 year old son, and I dont know what to tell him. I dont want to worry him for nothing if i pull through. but if something happens I dont want him to be sad. I have been thinking for a long time that if they find out I am terminal I will go to oregon and get physician assisted suicide. but i would never do it if it would hurt my son. i havent talked to him about it because i dont want to burden him with my problems. i am writing a letter to my son for my husband to give him in case i dont make it. i will say that if i die dont be sad because i am at peace and was suffering with the pain, and to go on to college and I will be watching his soccer games and his wrestling meets from heaven with his grandfather. but will he be mad that I never said good-bye while i was alive?