"I don't know what to tell you"

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by fromthatshow, Apr 28, 2010.

  1. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    It always lifts my spirits when I'm talking to a new psychiatrist and they say, "I don't know what to tell you." I'm having physically painful panic attacks at night. They tapered me off the benzos and so this is the withdrawals. The thing is that I looked up the withdrawals and they can last up to a year. So until then it's just, "I don't know what to tell you." It wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also express the same sentiment for my depression and suicidal thoughts. Though I really can't blame her there. I've been on literally almost every anti-depressant drug out there and nothing has worked. I figure there would be something that we would try in case all else fails. I'd at least appreciate if she had some kind of idea! Or even just kept throwing new meds at me for the hell of it :laugh:. It'd make me feel like I'm not hopeless even though I know I am. I think I need to go back to my old psychiatrist. I'm only going to this new one because it's closer but she's absolutely no help.

    To add insult to injury, I often re-visit those anti-suicide sites that say something along the lines of, "If you're reading this right now, stop, I love you, etc. etc." I used to do it because it made me feel better but it usually makes me feel worse now. A lot of them say, "Don't give up until you've tried everything," or, "Most depression can be cured by the mix of the right chemicals." I am in the small percentage of people who's depression is resistant to treatment. I have tried everything. So to me their message translates to, "Time to give up." I know deep down, and after having intense suicidal thoughts for the last 3 years, that I am too scared to do what's best and kill myself. So the intensity of my suffering which formerly would be heard because of the fact that I believed in my own suicidal intentions is now muffled. People are more willing to do everything they can to relieve suffering if you are suicidal, but now that I can tell myself that suicide is off the table, I'm tossed aside again.
  2. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    Have you tried a combination of meds and boosters?

    How about ECT?

    I know it can be disheartening and it feels horrible to think you can't be 'fixed'.

    Often treatment resistant depressions can be the sign of other issues too. So perhaps going back to your old psych who you sound like you have more confidence in, is a good idea.
  3. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    What are boosters?

    I tried ECT while I was in the hospital.

    Yeah the old psych made me feel more comfortable at least. That she wouldn't let me go on suffering without some kind of plan or ideas.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Also there are new medications on the market for treatment resistant depression Just out recently there is an injection that can be given as well. Ask your psych doctor about the new medication on the market for this type of depression okay there is always hope as they are always improving the medication and coming up with newer ones take care.
  5. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    To be honest i don't know a lot about boosters. It's not something i have tried myself yet.

    But my friend's girlfriend has tried them on several occasions. Apparently they just add them on top of an anti depressant.

    I think a good first step is to go back to your old psych. At least when there is a plan, it gives you some hope.

    Don't give in just yet.
  6. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    Find a doctor who is willing to fight for you and with you.

    They are out there, keep looking.

    It's frustrating, and depressing and painful, but you are not a lost cause, not by a long shot.

    Thanks for sharing, it helps me to hear when other people are going through similar things as I am.

    take care.