I should be so happy right now. My gf and me are back together, and everything while not we are not as close as we were before all this happened, i guess i assumed that would all come with time. And i guess it will, we have only been re going out for roughly 2 days, and i guess shes just not comfortable talking about certain subjects with me yet. And i guess thats perfectly normal but i just feel so depressed about it, my mind started to snowball to the point where it just told me that she was only going out with me because she couldn't find anyone else and now shes just going to look for someone else while where going out and shes going to leave me soon. I have no evidence for that or anything, but my mind just went there...and adding that with all the problems i have at home. All the thoughts of suicide are coming back, there is a part of my brain that tells me that this isn't worth it and i will be able to avoid all the pain just by ending it all. Its so hard, I'm not sure i can take much more of this, this depression is so dark and it seems I'm never going to get out of it. And I'm really afraid telling my gf about this because then she might think that shes the one making me this way...and she will leave me...i don't know what to do anymore, i feel like I'm back at square one.