I am 21 years old. I have had depression for about 10 years now. I first cut my wrists when I was 11, and it progressed from there. I have tried to commit suicide 3 times in total from overdosing. The third time was about 2 weeks ago, I ended up in hospital and my liver was failing, they told me I was going to die - so I refused treatment. Naturally, they pinned me down, sedated me and pumped me full of stuff to get rid of it and all that nasty stuff. I was transferred from there to a mental health ward at the hospital, which felt like prison. There was only 3 people in there including myself. After a few days I was released. I decided to seek help, and started seeing a therapist who classes me as a "high risk" case. The problem is, it's not helping. I have never felt as done as I do these days. Everyday is a struggle for me, I cry every morning and every night. I don't have friends as I am socially shy. I don't have family as they are 90% of the reason for me feeling the way I do. I was sexually, physically, emotionally and mentally abused growing up, by my father and other men. I don't want to live anymore, but at the same time, I don't want these people to have this control over me anymore. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know where to go from here. I don't want to be alive anymore. I just thought I would share a bit about myself since I am new here (joined today).