I don't know where to go from here

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Jane, May 7, 2015.

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  1. Jane

    Jane New Member

    I am 21 years old. I have had depression for about 10 years now. I first cut my wrists when I was 11, and it progressed from there. I have tried to commit suicide 3 times in total from overdosing. The third time was about 2 weeks ago, I ended up in hospital and my liver was failing, they told me I was going to die - so I refused treatment. Naturally, they pinned me down, sedated me and pumped me full of stuff to get rid of it and all that nasty stuff. I was transferred from there to a mental health ward at the hospital, which felt like prison. There was only 3 people in there including myself. After a few days I was released. I decided to seek help, and started seeing a therapist who classes me as a "high risk" case. The problem is, it's not helping. I have never felt as done as I do these days. Everyday is a struggle for me, I cry every morning and every night. I don't have friends as I am socially shy. I don't have family as they are 90% of the reason for me feeling the way I do. I was sexually, physically, emotionally and mentally abused growing up, by my father and other men. I don't want to live anymore, but at the same time, I don't want these people to have this control over me anymore. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know where to go from here. I don't want to be alive anymore.

    I just thought I would share a bit about myself since I am new here (joined today).
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi welcome to the forum. You have joined a very supportive and understanding group. I'm so sorry to hear that you suffered in life. You are strong in that your are survivor. I know you are physically and mentally hurting. No doubt everyday is hard but it's about coping. You are no longer having to cope on your own. Seeing a therapist is good and it will help you whilst you keep posting here.

    You are among people who have experienced similar issues. Please read the other posts posted here as it reassure and give you comfort. Please keep posting your feeling as it will help to relieve the pressure you are currently experiencing.

    It was brave of you joining here as you know who people do care about YOU.

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