i dont know where to put this but..

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Confusticated, Oct 16, 2010.

  1. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    .. I was told time was supposed to help mend all wounds. Especially when you lose your love, and know they're so fucking happy with someone else. It's been at least 6 weeks, maybe more, I've lost count, but this is only getting fucking harder. I can't sleep and only have nightmares when I do, my friends aren't really helping much at all, I'm such a wreck. Crying everynight hopeing nobody hears, trying so hard to be happy for her, yet constantly wishing she was still mine. I've never felt so alone in my life.. and I have no idea how this is going to get any better. I know it's a bad thing, but I've gone way back to when I used to SH/SM and that's not exactly helping. I'm scared shitless that this isn't going to get any better.

    Is there anyone who has gone through all this and pulled through? I know you can't get over a loved one, not if you truly loved them, but does it indeed get any eaiser? Or do you have to get stronger? Don't worry on tips about Self Manipulation, I have them all. It's just gonna have to stay for a while to help me manage, I'll stop once I feel a little better.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    The intensity of the pain can get less with time. But you're not just dealing with the pain of losing her, but also having to know that she's with someone else... it's easy for people to tell you to be happy for her, not as easy for that to actually happen when you're hurting and wishing she was still with you. Don't expect too much of yourself.

    Is there anything that makes you happy right now? Or not necessarily makes you happy, but maybe takes your mind off things for a while? Might help to have something else to focus on, to keep your mind occupied with something different.

    Sorry, I know that wasn't much help. Just wanted you to know I've been there, I know how much it hurts.
  3. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    Nah nobody is expecting me to be happy for her, I want to be. She can't help that she's lost all feelings for me, I understand that, and I still want her to be happy whether it's with me or not. As you said, it's just hard when you love someone and you know they're falling so deeply, so quickly, for someone else.

    Uhm, well yeah I'm trying everything I can to distract myself, it just got a bit much tonight and I'm scared to go to sleep because of some of the dreams I've been having which couldn't have helped. I just try to distract myself, and when I can't, cutting or burning does help a little bit at the time, but I've been there and really am trying to keep it under control, it's nothing to worry about yet.

    Thanks, you've been more help than you believe I think. The fact that you've been here and you're still around is enough to tell me I can be okay. Although I am very sorry you've been through this at all.
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm sorry you're going through it too. And I know you want to be happy for her; when it happened to me, I wanted to be happy for him too. But I couldn't be, not right away. There was too much hurt and anger and I don't even know what else. It takes time, more time than most people realize.

    My PM box is always open if you ever need anything.
  5. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, so they say. Might be easier to stay away from relationships from now on though, at least when you don't care, you can't get hurt. I thought that by now things would start getting easier, rather than harder, but as you said, it takes more time than people realise.

    Thanks, you too. I'm on here a lot so I'll always get back to you.