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I don't know whether to stay or go?

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by downunder, Mar 29, 2010.

  1. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    My daughter died nearly 3 years ago, I have felt this longing to go and join her and made several attempts.

    Then lately I have been feeling happier, and starting to enjoy life again.

    I have finished counselling.

    Now her anniversary of her death is coming, I feel I want to join her again. We also had a guy at work recently kill himself whilst at work.

    Just confused at the moment. Unless you have lost someone you will not understand these feelings. I finished counselling today, and the counsellor was not real happy about it either and didn't even say good bye.
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you lost your daughter.....I understand your longing to join her as i lost my son a few months ago.....I know your pain so well...
    I am having counceling too and it helps....
    can I ask why you quit counceling?
    maybe you still need it at least to get you through the anniversary and the feelings of wanting to join your daughter..
    if you have been feeling happier that means there is hope.....you will be able to feel happy again...
    I guess the anniversaries are really hard but don't give up yet.....hugs
  3. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    I think you are the person that wrote about the $28 fee???

    I know that feeling, the hardest and most profound part of therapy, seems to be the POST THERAPY duration. Do you and your husband have a healthy relationship to talk about these senstive moments?

    Participating in LIFE is another one that is critical as I learned from my past clinican......having goals, hobbies, interests and things to do to divert the pattern of "deathful" thinking. The hardest part I'm sure you'll relate, is the quiet time.....the time when our minds start talking at us.

    I'm deeply saddened by your daughter's suicide and hope that you will continue to share her legacy. Thanks for that.......
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are right unless you have loss someone then one cannot truly understand the pain but one can empathize with you. I too have had coucilling and still go over a year now. I agree you still need therapy to help you deal with the pain your thoughts some need therapy for along time as it helps us cope with the depression. I hope to you are taking medication as it helps as well Keep posting okay as it helps
  5. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    I am not on medication. Yes I was the one who wrote about the psych and the $28.00. It under the therapy and medication thread for anyone who is interested. Of course I miss her, but I can't continue seeing her for ever have been seeing her nearly 2 years. She was 16 when she died. I always put on the happy face, even the psych mentioned that to my husband when she rung him back.
  6. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    I am up and down at the moment, if anyone says something not nice, or things don't go the way I want them to, I just get to the verge of tears. Because I know this time 2 years ago, was 1 week before she died and 2 weeks before she was found. Even the weather is the same. When my husband is out of the room, I am in tears, but the tears have gone by the time he comes back. I don't like him to see me upset.
  7. phamthebac

    phamthebac New Member

    I understand your pain. But everyone has a destiny. I believe that God has plans for all of us and that our lives are destined to be happy one way or another.
  8. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    Phambthebac have you had a daughter that died whilst a teenager? Because unless you have then you don't understand the pain.