So far I've seen plenty of sad stories. I don't think my life is really worse than anyone else's so far. All I know is that I'm not happy. I have no clue what's going to make me happy. I want help and can't find it. The harder I try, the more pointless it all feels. I know that I don't want anyone to ever feel the way I do. I know that plenty of people have lives full of pain that overshadow mine greatly and they still find a way to cope and be happy. I feel like maybe I'm broken, or maybe my environment is broken. Something is broken. I have so many questions and no answers. I don't want to make anyone hurt or feel sad. I just want to feel ok. I do t even know that I want to be happy, just that I want to be able to live without worrying. I want to get things out of my mind. I want to live without people telling me I'm wrong all the time. I don't understand how being a vegetarian makes me a bad person. I don't understand why my desire to be positive when other people are so negative makes people so mad. I feel like I'm a good person. I feel like everytime I stand up for myself, people start to hate me for it. I feel kind of stupid for being so hurt. I don't understand why I feel like a target. I just want to have one day when I don't see evidence with my own eyes that the people I love and bend over backwards to help, don't care. They don't care that they screw me over. They don't see me as another person. Apparently I'm some sort of braggart. Apparently I can't tell anyone theyre wrong. And not about opinions, I'm talking about facts. I'm tired of being forced to let people say and do whatever they want to me or about me and not have a response for the sake of keeping the peace. Nobody defends me when I'm right. It's an everyday thing. I have no allies. No friends. Nobody to trust. It's just me.