I don't know why I want to die so much for so long.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by evilzombie123, Oct 17, 2013.

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  1. evilzombie123

    evilzombie123 New Member

    I have had suicidal thoughts and bouts of long lasting depression that goes on for months at a time since back when I was in middle school, I am a graduate student now, and I don't know why. I have a good life, a family, an education, and no substance abuse problems of any sort. I went 15 years without any help by just bottling it up and holding back hoping it would just get better and tried a few times to die and got scared that I have these thoughts and urges for no reason other than just feeling consistently sad and I started going to therapy as well as starting up antidepressants. I went years just asking myself what if I keep trying new things and got married and had a kid, finished my BS in programming and got a job. But even on the medication nothing has changed. I feel sad, depressed, alone, and wanting to die so often. I think about it so often and I don't know why. I have a very accomplished life and have traveled the world multiple times. I have friends and family that are very supportive and kind. But I still feel this way all the time, everyday, nothing ever changes.

    Anyone go through something similar? Is there something wrong with me? Is there something I can do to fix it? Please.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi i am sorry you are so sad Your medication is not working perhaps you need an add on to it or a change all together talk to your doctor ok. Have you tried other treatments Has you doctor done a full medical check up on you Thyroid blood levels to rule out a medical condition as to why the depression won't leave low iron levels etc
    If something is off in the body it can display itself as depression Keep talking to your doctor ok discuss what other test or treatments that are available change things up a bit and see what happens Keep talking to us here ok keep posting it does help.
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