Okay so a brief summary. I'm a 32 year old man. I've been depressed for a while. On my bad days (which are the majority) I can't focus on activities, I feel fatigued and I don't have any motivation for anything, or interest in anything. So a few months back my doctor decided it was time for me to see a psychiatrist and try mirtzapine (two previous anti-depressants didn't work when run for a few months each). My logic was always that I had nothing to lose and just to try each step. I think I put too much faith in the system and as a result am disappointed that I basically got told try this drug, then come back. The psychiatrist basically said I lacked intent, and well I don't want to argue with him anymore, if I'm just an inconvenience to the health system then why should I bother. I'm a little scared, I'm at peace with the idea of doing it now. I've got my note written, everything sorted, I feel like I'm just on the edge and if I did sneak away I would be doing the world a favor. I'm not really sure why I'm typing here, perhaps there is little fight left in me, for the most part I think the act is long past due. I don't expect a miracle but maybe it is worth me trying this, I don't know.