I don't know why

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by astella, Apr 13, 2009.

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  1. astella

    astella Well-Known Member

    I don't know why I have to keep living. Why should I have to if I don't want to. I don't want to exist. It wasn't my choice, and I don't want it. Why should I have to feel so bad. Why haven't the antidepressants done anything. Why is it that no one loves me.
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Why don't you want to live anymore, what's wrong?
     
  3. astella

    astella Well-Known Member

    I feel so depressed. I cry all the time. None of my friends care about me anymore. I'm just annoying and depressed to them. I hate myself so much. I don't want to exist. Why is that so much to ask for? Don't I have autonomy?
     
  4. i know what you mean, being depressed just makes people you know stay away from you. Thats why ive joined this forum to be able to make friends with people goin through the same thing or have already been through the same thing....theres comfort in that i find. I know how you feel. I'm going through it right now. Your not alone, trust me.
     
  5. astella

    astella Well-Known Member

    I might be happier if I was alone in being depressed because knowing that others feel so badly hurts me a lot.
     
  6. astella

    astella Well-Known Member

    No replies...
     
  7. Sometimes when you are hurting/down/depressed/sad,anything sad that is happening outside of you world can make you feel down, i know myself seeing something sad on tv can make me get upset. You cant rationlise your thought process when you feel like that.

    I am certain someone must love you, it sucks your friends dont seem to understand what your going through.

    Is there any family or anyone close that may understand or just offer a shoulder to cry on?
     
  8. Colourful

    Colourful Well-Known Member

    Hey, I'm going through something similar. I've pretty much alienated myself from all my friends. But I'm not sure if it's because they don't wnt to be around me when I'm like this or if it's me who's too scared to approach them because I fear pushing them away. I don't want to burden them. But I know how it feels to have your friends not wanting to be around you because of the state you're in.

    Do you think it would help talking to people on this site? I'm sure there are people here who can relate to you and want to talk to you no matter what you're going through.

    I'm here if you need someone to talk to.
     
  9. astella

    astella Well-Known Member

    Nope. Everyone who has ever let me cry on their shoulder no longer lets me. It's a trade off. No one cares enough about me to help me for long, and if I try to get help from them, they don't care about me at all. No one likes me enough to be a shoulder to cry on for me. :)



    The thing is, I really want friends who I know from school who legitimately care about me. I'm not good enough for them to care, though.
     
  10. TheLonelyAloePlant

    TheLonelyAloePlant Well-Known Member

    Anti-depressants can take a while to work. I had to wait it out, and it was worth it in the end. Take care and stay strong.
    :hugtackles:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 30, 2009
  11. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Sometimes friends are only friends when they want to be and sometimes you'll have to wait a while before you'll find a friend who is there for when you want them to be not just when they want to be. But you will find that friend, you just have to keep looking. For now, talk to us, talk to anyone you can around you, but don't give up on life because you haven't met the right friends yet. Take care of yourself.
     
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