i dont know

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Kirsty_Ann, Oct 27, 2012.

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  1. Kirsty_Ann

    Kirsty_Ann Well-Known Member

    Over a week ago i posted:

    http://www.suicideforum.com/showthread.php?119894-can-not-and-will-not-do-this-anymore

    things just got worse; i went away for a few days and tried to sort myself out and it didnt work and it didnt help at all; so the crisis team said i had to see them or they were going to discharge me; this is after i said to my care coordinator and the crisis team that i was still feeling so awful.
    i felt awful and started to overdose on thursday morning; i saw the doctor and one crisis team member and i said i had started to overdose and felt awful; i had been given a leaflet on self harm the week before and the dr asked whether i found it useful and i explained that a leaflet was not going to makeme feel better as i had so many issues and if it was as easy as a website i would've been able to sort it myself, he went mad as he made the leaflet and that i didnt understand what i was talking about and that i was overreacting on some abandonment issues that i clearly had; i have bpd so i started to cry and say i was severly suicidal, had started overdosing and couldnt be discharged from the team as i was clearly desperate. He then said i had to follow rules in order to be able to be in touch with the crisis team etc and i explained that was fine but when i feel as awful as i do rules are no good to me but instead i need help and sorry i am an inconviance if i dont answer the phone immediately as i am trying to go work 70/80 hours a week and he shouted and said even though i was suicidal he wanted the meeting stopping there and didnt want anymore conversations with me. Absolutely sobbing i said even though i'm overdosing you are saying i can be discharged and he said yes you're out of our care.
    He then said he was done and was leaving; i said i needed to drive to needed 15 mins to get myself together and he said no leave; if you want to do that go outside.

    I didnt know what to say i just cried; i got in touch with my care coordinator who said she was on a course so texted saying if i needed an appointment email my availability next week; i said i need help i'm overdosing and she just responded saying well she has offered an appointment.

    So now in the past 3 days ive taken over <edit moderator total eclipse method> feel awful and this all could've been stopped i said i needed to be in hospital, i said i needed help and noone cared; people who are paid to help and care didnt help; they shouted and made me feel worse.

    I cannot do this at all; i'm so stuck and it is all a mess and i feel so so awful too;
    i dont know anymore
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 27, 2012
  2. midnightstar

    midnightstar Senior Member

    It's shocking how you were treated Kirsty :hug: I hope you can find the help you need
     
  3. Samara

    Samara Account Closed

    I was responding to you in a PM in the chat... and then you logged out.

    I am not certain if you logged out to get me to stop PMing you or if you just logged out in general... but I spent time to write up part of a response... and I don't even have the emotional energy right now to repeat it... after you just logged out on me...

    But basically.... get yourself into an ER room, and wait until you are seen... because you are taking things that are going to harm your body very badly, and regardless of how you feel right now, your future self is not going to agree that this was a good decision, or even one that could be justified when the side effects kick in.
     
  4. Kirsty_Ann

    Kirsty_Ann Well-Known Member

    I didnt log out on you my internet froze and i lost it; i would never be that rude if someone put the effort in to respond; im aware of what i am doing as i work in a hospital; i know the implications; ive done this before; im just sick of everything and cant do this without support of anyone and i dont have that at all. i just give up; i feel like ive tried and still failed
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Go to emergency ok hun you tell them how much medication you took you tell them outright you will kill yourself if youare not admitted and don't leave ok you stay there until they help you
     
  6. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    When mental health facilities fail, one thing that always provides in a pinch is going straight to the emergency room at your nearest hospital and they will give you whatever you need.
     
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