I don't know...

Sorry for my english, but i have to write something.

I'm a little bit drunk and i dont know if i ever write something after i will be sober again because i can't talk or write about myself when i'm sober.

I'm 23 and i don't know if i really want to commit suicide, probably not. <mod edit - methods>

Most of the people i know have good school or good job and they look like they're happy. I have high school, but i completed the school just because of good teachers that let me graduate (i hope i didnt write it wrong, i dont know the right words in english). I don't know anything from the school and i can't even imagine that i should work for 50 years and then go to pension. I worked some time like a seller in supermarket, but i quit after my contract expire even if i could prolong it and it was maybe the biggest mistake i did.

I prefer to be alone. I don't like to talk with anyone, not even with my parents. Most people in my age already have families or going to pubs with friends. I rather play PC games, listening music or watching movies, just running away from real world.

I feel i don't belong to this world. <mod edit - graphic detail> I feel i just can't live anymore, but can't kill myself either. I don't know what to do.

 

what you can do is get some therapy that will help you to be more sociable go back to school and take some classes that interest you and get into a field of work you can do without being afraid of doing it. It is good you are reaching out here talking It is easier to talk on line so keep doing that ok make some connections here