Sorry for my english, but i have to write something. I'm a little bit drunk and i dont know if i ever write something after i will be sober again because i can't talk or write about myself when i'm sober. I'm 23 and i don't know if i really want to commit suicide, probably not. <mod edit - methods> Most of the people i know have good school or good job and they look like they're happy. I have high school, but i completed the school just because of good teachers that let me graduate (i hope i didnt write it wrong, i dont know the right words in english). I don't know anything from the school and i can't even imagine that i should work for 50 years and then go to pension. I worked some time like a seller in supermarket, but i quit after my contract expire even if i could prolong it and it was maybe the biggest mistake i did. I prefer to be alone. I don't like to talk with anyone, not even with my parents. Most people in my age already have families or going to pubs with friends. I rather play PC games, listening music or watching movies, just running away from real world. I feel i don't belong to this world. <mod edit - graphic detail> I feel i just can't live anymore, but can't kill myself either. I don't know what to do.