I dont know

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by rachypooh, Apr 10, 2007.

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  1. rachypooh

    rachypooh Well-Known Member

    It has been forever since I have been in this state.
    I figure why not end it myself, I have so many other people wanting to so if I do it, it will save them the job.
    I've got death threats above my head, no job, no income, no home, no car and I have lost four babies in less than twelve months. My physical health sucks
    There is no help here, our hospital and health system sucks big time. I just feel like its time for me to leave. I dont know what my purpose on earth was, so I may have already filled it.
    Who knows and who cares:unsure:
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    That's awful, you have been through so much, and are still going through so much.

    I can't imagine your pain at the loss of your children, and the other stresses must make it so much worse for you.

    Do you have job centres over there? Or anyone that can help you find a job? Who are you currently living with? Or rather, where are you currently living? Could you stay there for longer?

    Maybe take the issues like job, car, money, house, etc, and sit down and make a spider diagram to try and get ideas for how you can change the situation and make it more positive for you, ie, what do you need to do to change the situation. There will be many options, so try to explore as many as you can.

    Have you tried things like support groups? there will be support groups around for people who have lost children, suffered miscarriages, bereavements, etc, maybe you could try and see what is available in your area. Also, have you had specific bereavement counselling? That might also help you.

    I'm inclined to think that if you don't know what your purpose was, then you can't have already achieved it. If you had achieved your purpose, I am sure that you would know.

    Maybe you could find your own purpose, like your own aim, or focus, or something like that. What do you enjoy? Or have a passion for? Could you do anything in relation to that?

    Hang in there and keep fighting honey
  3. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Hi rachy dear I'm deeply sorry for how you're feeling and the rotten luck you've endured,I live in Oz also I'd luv to be able to chat to u or my msn is milansteve@yahoo.com.au
  4. rachypooh

    rachypooh Well-Known Member

    The problem I have currently is that I have been so sick and in and out of hospital that no job agency will touch me, plus I am going into rehab and there isnt much point in getting set up with one and then leaving.

    I am currently living with a couple from church, they are willing to have me until I can leave for Teen Challenge, but I feel like I am bludging off of them

    There are very limited support groups in our town, as there isnt alot of funding for that sort of thing, plus because of my age people seem to think we have nothing wrong with us, it sucks big time.
    I think the reason the preganancy/miscarriage is affecting me so much is that I am in the process of losing the fourth baby, I am pregnant now but by the end of next week I won't be. I dont believe in abortions but I dont have a choice with this preganancy

    I don't seem to have a passion for anything anymore, I used to love doing so much but now I just can't even focus on the smallest thing for the shortest time. I am just trying to focus on one thing at a time, and right now its getting through surgery next week
  5. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Rachy please don't do anything drastic,who's giving you death threat's please tell me I care about you.
  6. rachypooh

    rachypooh Well-Known Member

    The death threats are coming from people in my past, they haven't only threatened me but friends and family, if I don't do what they say.
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