I don't know

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Sybon, Jan 15, 2008.

  1. Sybon

    Sybon Member

    Me and my girlfriend have had sex about 3 times. And each time it didn't feel good at all. it didn't hurt. But it was just time consuming and the entire time I was thinking when it would be over. She orgasmed so I guess she enjoyed it.

    But I don't know if I'm gay because of this. I like her because she was the first person to take interest in me in a long time. And I'm really happy that she did because I was very, very lonely. I don't think I like men, but I just don't like that. I'd much rather be watchinga movie with her but she ends up wanting it so bad from me and I'm embarassed to say no because she's done so m uch to me to make me feel better I feel like I owe it to her.

    And I just fake an orgasm every time and be like, "Yeah. It feels good. Sure" Because I dont' want to hurt her feelings. I don't want to do that anymore.

    What should I do? I might be asexual. I don't know.
  2. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    Try and talk honestly to her about it and ask her how she feels. Just because she came doesn't mean she necessarily loved the whole experience :smile:. There are different types of orgasm. Do you masturbate? Do you enjoy that?

    Having an orgasm doesn't mean you've 'achieved' something. That's just the end part. You sound like it was a chore and the whole experience was just unenjoyable and a bit of a bore.

    Communication is important and it just sounds you aren't talking to her and that it's all very physical? How is your relationship otherwise? Maybe talk to her how you fake orgasms to please her, how you feel uncomfortable doing things and how you just don't like sex right now.

    Just because you aren't enjoying sex with her doesn't suggest you're gay or you like men. She's just one woman, among many in the world, whom you're in a relationship with and a relationship is far more than sex...I don't know, I'm not sure how your relationship is with her. It does sound like you're not talking or communicating very well and it's all 'crawl into bed, press a few buttons here and there for a phantom (in your case) orgasm' and that's it. It doesn't sound too fun.

    I suggest just talking to her.
  3. Melmoth the Wanderer

    Melmoth the Wanderer Well-Known Member

    Have you been feeling (more) depressed lately? Are you on any meds for depression? Depression and antidepressants, among other things, can really kill your sex drive.

    I agree with ggg456. But even if you don't want to tell her everything right now, talking in general will help to strengthen your relationship. Most girls enjoy conversation anyway, so it may even help you avoid the bedroom. At times it may seem like choosing the lesser of two evils, though. :smile:

    I'm not really sure about my sexuality, either. However, I have a lot of trouble trusting people, so it's hard for me to imagine myself being intimate with anyone.
  4. Sybon

    Sybon Member

    We talk a lot, like it took 5 months before we actually started doing anything physical. I just don't want to tell her this because it will get her sad. I'm only 16, she's 17. We don't even go in a bed we have to do it in a car which is pretty uncomfortable for me too.