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I dont know...

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by wallflower, Feb 21, 2008.

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  1. wallflower

    wallflower Well-Known Member

    It's strange. I thought it was a dream. I was supposedly doing things for the whole evening and I wasn't even aware of them. I don't know but i feel angry about it. It's not like it was serious. But at the same time, no one treated it like anything had happened.
    I woke up in my bed and I remember it as if it was a dream.
    I had a bandage on my arm where blood was drawn and the wristband from the Emergency Room.
    Then everyone gets to guilt trip me. My brother has been especially mean.
    He was really affected by this and was really upset.
    But I was so happy. I remember it was like slipping out of myself. It was like I was in another world. It almost gave me hope that there is an afterlife.
    Then, I was stupid, I logged back into the same website that the people had been harassing me on...and kept on posting back to them.
    Dragging me further into a depression.
    They really stirred me up and I can't stop feeling like those judgmental pricks are out there watching me, seeing me failing...and it's really starting to bother me. I wonder what I can do. I don't have the emotional willpower to enjoy things. I can't read a book, I can't write and no one is reading my poetry,
    I feel like I've been selected to be an outcast.
    And everything is just so grey... I wonder why there isn't something that could make things better. I've never been able to handle anti-depressants.
    I feel like there's too much pain. Suddenly, my own life has forsaken me.
  2. Carcinogen

    Carcinogen Well-Known Member

    Don't go back to that website, it'll only make you feel worse.

    Just a thought, have you tried posting poetry online somewhere, perhaps on quizilla or something? People will read and favourite and you'll get a readership for your work and probably make some new contacts.
  3. wallflower

    wallflower Well-Known Member

    I post on a lot of websites. The one that is the most popular is Allpoetry, but I don't get much feedback from that site. I am not going back into that forum.
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