I dont know

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Kelsey, Oct 14, 2008.

  1. Kelsey

    Kelsey Well-Known Member

    Awake....should be sleeping but woke up. So much has been happening and no break in the mess, and ya know I sorta need one. How can someone ask me to do what they wanted...I guess I dont mind, because Ive always said I will help and I mean that when I say it. I just thought I would never have to draw a line in what I am willing to do.

    Its too late now, whats done is done and it cant be changed. I let people walk all over me and I dont do a damn thing about it. I am a punching bag and soundboard, it will be the story of my life, it wont ever change. So I guess I have to either deal with it, or get the hell outta dodge. So many promises that cant be broken, but how do I cope or deal? I cant just up and leave.

    So many times I have just wanted to pack up a little bag, sell my truck, leave my apartment, and just go. Not take anything with me I can communicate with, just let my mind take over. If it takes over then I wont be at fault for anything I do, it can be blamed on insanity, and nothing else.

    Many have offered help and I have taken it. I just dont know how big of a difference I am making for others, if any. Will anyone really notice if im gone? I want to tell myself no one will notice, but maybe they will. They tell me they will but I dont know. This is just a long pathetic rant, just like me.
     
  2. PeaceBlueFire

    PeaceBlueFire Well-Known Member

    Hi Kelsey! I have been through some of the same things, some I am still going through. I don't have the answers, I wish I did for both of our sakes, but I don't. All I will say for now is that I love and care about you and I am willing to be a listening ear if ever you need one and are willing to confide in me. Please take care of yourself. Erin :)
     
  3. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    It would be easier for us to believe that no one cares and no one would notice if we disappear, truth is, someone, somewhere, does care and I'm one of them.

    It's kind of you to offer your help to others, for some it gives a purpose but it can be overwhelming especially when you've got your own issues to deal with also. Accept the help from others and if you can't do something or don't have the energy it's best to let them know, they'd appreciate your honesty and hopefully would understand.

    We all need to know our own limitations. Feel free to rant (it's not pathetic, nor are you), feel free to PM anytime. Take care, and I hope you managed to get back to sleep. :hug:
     
  4. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Kelsey, I'd notice. Lots of us would notice. Please take good care of yourself. Stay safe!

    :hug:
     
  5. Kelsey

    Kelsey Well-Known Member

    I have seriously lost all my energy.
     
  6. serivok

    serivok Active Member

    you've just said everything i wanted to say, you're not alone in your feelings. i still don't know if the feelings will get better, but there's always someone that will notice and someone that will miss you.
     
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I would notice Kelsey. And yes, you do make a difference. You have made a difference. You are so wise beyond your years. You need to find that peace within yourself. I think you spend so much time making sure others are cared for that you neglect your own needs. Maybe you need to take a day or two and concentrate on you. Pamper yourself. Allow yourself to love the beautiful person you are. Rejuvenate. My thoughts are with you. :hug:
     
  8. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Kelsey, I would notice too. Corrina is so right. You have some plans coming up. Enjoy them hun. Really enjoy them for yourself and no one else. Take time enjoying and remembering what it's like to just be Kelsey and not be there for everyone else. Dont ever forget that you are just as important as all the people and friends you so unselfishly help. Hun you are so loved by so many so please be good to yourself for once.
     
  9. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    you would be suprised at how many people would notice you have gone and how would miss you, its been a while i know but even i would miss you, and i know of at least 1 more who would too.
     
  10. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Just wanted so send some hugs and hope you feel better real soon...J