I don't know

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Vagrant, Dec 2, 2009.

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  1. Vagrant

    Vagrant Account Closed

    Sorry all but i'm french so sorry for the grammar. ={

    I searched for the truth since my youth but founded nothing.

    I feel that I will do this month,
    I'm trap in hell...
    I think about the suicide already since my young age In infact since the day i have the opportunity to think,
    I am tired of suffering every day, every day the problems are just stacked one above the other,
    I mean I can not explain how I feel, the feeling is like, I feel useless \ depress in everyday life, no emotion,
    I miss everything in my life,
    No one really cares about how i feel or anything.
    I lost many friends by suicide and i can't not take more of this, i miss them so hard.
    My Ex-GF broked our relation ship and im bleeding interiorly all day i can't accept that i don't see myself living without this girl i don't know why.. maybe god can ask me ?

    I tryed to talk about my suicidal tendencies\ideas to my friend but I think I made them afraid. I Don't know what to do.
    Going to hell or in heaven ? don't really matters to me i just want an happy life.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 2, 2009
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hiya, Vagrant.

    I’m sorry to hear about your situation. :hug:I can tell you're really hurting a lot. It is hard when we feel alone and when relationships don’t work out. I know the break up hurts, but you will begin to feel better eventually if you give yourself some time.

    I'm sorry your friends seemed a bit frightened when you tried to talk to them. They may simply not have known what to say. I'm sure they want you feel better.

    Please don't do anything rash to harm or kill yourself - when we are in a really emotional state, our thinking is muddled by our feelings, which means we can’t be making the best decisions.

    Keep posting and talking here when you need to or feel like it. There are lots of people here who will be happy to listen and support you.


    PS: If you feel that you are in immediate danger of hurting yourself, please call emergency services, a crisis line, or go to a hospital so you are safe. :hug:
  3. Vagrant

    Vagrant Account Closed

    Hi Acy,

    But you know Acy,
    Im not the same anymore.
    Im more cold than never, i dont speak to anyone now, i stay in my room all the time, i lost mad pounds during this last month..., i always look the ground when i walk, And this last weeks i wrote a suicide letters to my Ex-Gf last week and one to my close-friend.
    And i ended up by crying why ?
    Some time i wish if i could die thing will be better for me but i'll let my problems to my friends and stuff, and i don't want it i want the best for them.

    Call a crisis line;

    I don't know, they're sayin it's private and they wont say a word, but can you trust them at 100% ?
    I don't wanna have the cops knockin at my doors at 2:00 am you know.
    They can retrace you by your phone numbers.
    Maybe i paranoid who know's.. ?
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 2, 2009
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