I wanna apologize ahead of time for my weird wording and strange text format. I know it can make things hard to read but I don't know how else to sort my thoughts. I really don't, and this subforum was dangerous to me before it happened. And still, I wound up here, didn't I? See, my words are already minced, but this kind of thing minces your mind. I thought I'd be okay. I figured I could carry it. I have to. I cannot do anything about it because of all the other people it would hurt. It's bad enough it hurts me, but to take action would hurt several other people whom I love very much and don't deserve to suffer anymore. What am I going on about? Well. New Year's Eve I was at a friend's house. My me and my BF at the time were falling apart (actually, we were already over, we just hadn't admitted it yet). I had one glass of wine. I guess being miserable already didn't help. I can't handle alcohol well and my friend went out for pizza. When he came back I was "done" as we say here. Heh. Well, we know where it's gonna go so I'm not going into details. But he did indeed take advantage of me. I thought I'd be okay. I'll carry it but I had a flash back. I was at my new beau's house and he's there like "what on Earth is going on?" Obviously, I couldn't hide it from him. So I told him what happened and it was hard. His reaction was normal but at the same time profound. (My ex would never have been able to handle it...) I don't know what to do, like I said before: Taking action would hurt more people than I care to hurt. My boyfriend demands I do something before he hurts someone else and he's right but... My friends are his kids (and I know it only makes it worse), I don't want to hurt them. My goal is to work past this on my own. And by on my own I mean without confronting him. To do it with the support of my few friends who do know, my friends here, and the other people I don't know who are here to help. Help.