I Don't Know...

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by xOmgItsMe, Mar 2, 2010.

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  1. xOmgItsMe

    xOmgItsMe Account Closed

    I feel shitty for having to come on to here and post publicly my pathetic feelings. It's stupid for the way that I feel. I'm stupid for feeling this way, but it's like I just can't live anymore. Every turn seems like a dead end. I have these dreams and sometimes it just feels like they're too out of reach. But... its something I want so badly. I understand that we don't always get what we want... it's just... if I don't live that dream, I feel like I'd have nothing left. There's times where I'm confident that it'll happen, but I never know with myself. It's all I want out of life. You're probably wondering 'what's so unachievable about their dream?' Well, being a musician, from my understanding, is never an easy job. Not in the least. It's all I want, but I don't have the money to reach my goal, nor the time. I'm always using every spare second to keep myself together. To keep myself sane. I have no job to get myself the proper tools to even become a musician. It hurts when it's all I want.

    My dream is all that keeps me holding on. I think without it, or even if I somewhat lose sight of it, I'll kill myself. I don't want anything else. I don't want any other job. But... how the fuck am I supposed to get there when I can't even afford a cup of coffee to survive with no job and no one is hiring me? It's bullshit. My life, right now, is pointless. If I were to kill myself, no one would care. I don't even think that one person, aside from my one best friend and a few family members, would come.

    I just want to be myself and no one else. I just want to do the things that I love... I want to be looked up to. But... how can anyone look up to a whiney bitch who feels like every second is a decade?
     
  2. Sammakko...

    Sammakko... Guest


    If you can be yourself and you enjoy things what you do, do so. Love things if you are blessed to do so. If you can feel happiness for what you do, keep it as your treasure.
     
  3. xOmgItsMe

    xOmgItsMe Account Closed

    Trust me, I would if I could. However, like I said, I don't have money. I don't have a job to earn any. The only way to become a musician is first, actually have an instrument. Yeah, I don't have one...
     
  4. Sammakko...

    Sammakko... Guest

    Well... My english suck... I thought you have got more than one thing what you do love.
     
  5. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Ok, so how about making a plan for how you reach your goal. If you can break down that plan enough, then it will see reachable and achievable, and you will be on the path to following your dream.
     
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