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I dont know...

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#1
...whats happened to me, i never really 'lived' life, ive been depressed for i dont know for the last 2-4years, but no ones ever taken note until now, ive been to the doctors, im on meds, my mum knows, my closest friends know, and yet now when im getting help, ive totally given up. Ive worn the same clothes for the last three days, im barely getting out of bed, only to pee, im listening to the same sad songs on continous repeat, usually from under my covers where its nice and dark. I havent eaten, nor have any intention of eating. Its like today my mum asked me 'If i had any intention of washing' and i just shrugged, and said 'not today i dont.' Im crying all the time, and when im not crying, im forcing myself to cry. I dont even know why the hell im writing this, its proberly for the attention, wow, dont i lead a sad existence.

Life sucks. Life Sucks. Life sucks. I wish my friends and my mother would stop using emotional blackmail on me, and just let me kill myself. And i dont want to hear, killing yourself isnt the answer, because actually it is. I dont see the point to life, not one of you will be able to explain the point of life to me, i dont want to live a pointless life, suffering to achieve nothing in the end, but death anyway. So in conclusion, instead of suffering and struggling year upon year, so i can die a old aged cripple, why not just speed up the entire process. Come someone tell me why not, i bet you cant.

You know what i dont think these meds are working, because i dont think i am depressed, ive just given up on life. As Simple As.
 
T

Tigerstripe

#2
Well sound's like depression but i ain't an expert. I recommend counsilling because it helped me a lot and i ain't saying go in and all will be alright because it won't it take's time. Also i think that if your after the attention it is a cry for help and we can only give advice and hope that you take heed. I oncethought why not just help natuire along and tried 3 times to end it but then after i nearly died in an accident i had a kinda Not vision but realisation and i saw thing's in a different way, i hope you will have a realisation but not through the same way i had to.

Please Take Care

Tiger
 
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