I Don't Know

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Illusion, Jan 12, 2011.

  1. Illusion

    Illusion Well-Known Member

    I don't know. I just don't know.. I've done nothing but take care of my sister. I haven't been able to keep a steady conversation with any of my friends for a while cause I always have to leave over and over again. I know its the annoying newborn/baby stage with my baby sister, but my mother is a FCKIN PSYCHO. Even my step dad agrees. Shes already kicked him out once for letting my baby sister cry for to long. This is his first child and hes still learning. He can't help getting nervous and frustrated when my mother judges him. Hell I get frustrated with her to when she says I don't do nothing, I'm selfish, and worthless. She also says all I do is sleep all day. Yeah thats true I sleep all day. The reason why I do though is cause I don't get to go to bed till 8 or 9am. I'm letting her sleep at night so she can get some rest cause I'm being considerate! How the fuck is that selfish!? Maybe it is selfish if you're not willing to devote 24/7 to a person. Maybe it is selfish if you just want to see and talk to your friends more. MAYBE IT IS SELFISH IF YOU JUST WANT SOME TIME TO YOURSELF. I really don't give a fuck about being called selfish anymore. Seems like every person is selfish in some sort of way, even if they don't realize it. I don't care what people call me anymore. I'm learning not to put myself down all the time. My mother is constantly putting me down now though. I do just about everything for her and she doesn't care cause its never enough. What do I have to do, get a rope and go catch Mars for her? Will that make me a good daughter? Will she finally be proud of me and not ashamed? What have I done? Fuck I just don't know. :headache:

    My mother has had a rough life and shes in denial that she needs some serious help. Just about everyone has told her she needs help but she denies it. She acts like she knows how to live life and anybody who doesn't live it her way is going to hell. Denial I say.. Denial.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 12, 2011
  2. Illusion

    Illusion Well-Known Member

    Apparently to my mother, every person is born and raised to care for another person and not their selves. Whats the point in life then? Whats wrong with having dreams and goals for YOU and just YOU to achieve? Everyone is different. Some people live to care for others while others live to enjoy life and discover new things.