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I dont need help!!

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Yeah I dont need help, my so called problems are helping me.
Guess its good that i'm paranoid, that i didnt believe you.
You didnt love me, how could you fucking say that. You love her.
Jup, my thoughts were right, will listen to them now
See I dont need help, my 'problems' are helping me.
Hooray for paranoia, and that has become worser
Which made my drinking and selfharming worser
And I guess its the same for the SH, the H of SH doesnt stand for harm but for help.

Ghehe, lmao, how ironic. Just decided that i dont need help, comes my mother in my room. Telling me she's gonna make an appointment with a doc.
I dont want other people to know all of this about me
But how I am right now, makes my parents unhappy, so I couldnt say no.
So now I have 'help', god damn, now people will see me as that girl with sh or something. I just dont want people to know this, people will laugh and talk about me behind my back.
I should have smile more, i should have watched out with the scars, I should have been more like other people of my age.
They even think I throw up, they are right, but how can they know. But I wont let them take that away, have to be carefull.
Everything is falling apart
Feeling so ashamed
Cant look my parents in the eyes
Want to lock, hide myself, run away
I wanna die...
Why do they love me, love should be forbidden, would make everything so much easier. So much easier to leave this place, without people getting hurt.

Sorry if all of this didnt make sence, the rambling, crappy english etc..

Sa Palomera

Well-Known Member
:hug: Blubs :hug: :arms:

how awful it may seem now, I do think this help might do you good, Blubs. People won't laugh at you or talk about you behind ur back. And if you ARE afraid of that (which isn't necessary), then let it be a comforting thing for you to know that the doc isn't allowed to pass things you talk about on to other people.

:hug: :hug: many hugs for the lovely blubs :hug: :hug:
Blubbers, i can understand the first bit of your post. I know about that situation and its unfortunate that you got caught in the cross fire of that. Some people say feelings they think they feel then they trun out not to be that way, i do know how that feels.

Its completely understandable that you don't wanna get help, not alot of people do. Its perfectly natural to be paranoid about certain things and to be scared that people will laugh and talk behind your back. Anything said to your doctor is completely confidential and they are legally not allowed to tell ANYONE. No one will find out anything.

Love is a part of human nature, love will allways be in the world regardless of people opinions on it. They love you because your their daughter. People will get hurt regardless of what happens in life. Hurt aswell as love is apart of the human nature. With love must come hurt. Theres no way to stop it. Their only trying to do whats best for you. Please remember that.

Viks x
Nah wish you all a good life, luck, love and all of that happy shit, you deserve it. Dont worry about me, wont be online anymore, because, I deleted all of you, the only place where you will see me, is here on sf. And its not because of you, i deleted 78 people these past days. Please dont think I dont care about you or dont like you, only started with taking distance, just easier for everyone if something might happen :unsure:
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