I dont need support, I just need to know one person is listening

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by leaving, Nov 28, 2010.

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  1. leaving

    leaving Member

    I cant cope with these feelings. I want them out of my chest, out of my muscles, out of my head, out of my heart. I want to run from every shitty little part of my life. I regret everything, even if something is good I'll trash it and regret that too. I'm scared and the only person I could turn to is gone. I drove her away one too many times. I thought her love would be there til the day I die. Mine will be, though I'm not sure how long that will be.

    A guy I went to school with hung himself recently, I didn't know him very well and I actually disliked him when we were at school. I saw a photo of the letters his kids left pinned to his door and I cried. At the time I couldn't relate to anything that would cause me or him enough pain to leave 2 kids behind. I dont think there is anything that would. But thats the point. I dont have anything now.

    I am leaving.
     
  2. Kirsty_Ann

    Kirsty_Ann Well-Known Member

    hun i'm really sorry you had to see that, i'm listening and people on here are great at that too,
    stay on
    :hug:
     
  3. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    I'm sorry to read your story. It sounds cliched but it's never too late, and it's never quite as bad as it seems. I'm here to listen and talk if you want - my PM box is always open.

    Chris
     
  4. leaving

    leaving Member

    I appreciate it guys but I really feel like I need to get away from everything I know. I've wrecked so much in my life, and although I dont think I'll ever forget whats I've lost, at least if I dont have the option I can't keep doing it. I feel like getting in my car an driving until it runs out of petrol, then getting out and walking until I reach the sea. Never look back.
     
  5. Kirsty_Ann

    Kirsty_Ann Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, it may not feel like it but you can turn this around. It is so damn hard but you should get there.
    Have you any formal help?
     
  6. plshelpme

    plshelpme Well-Known Member

    when things get really bad, they usually have nowhere to go except in a positive direction...hang in there...
     
  7. leaving

    leaving Member

    I wish I could turn it around. I had the chance and blew it repeatedly.

    How do you mean formal help?
     
  8. Kirsty_Ann

    Kirsty_Ann Well-Known Member

    There are always chances to be had hun. . . you can do it :)
    As in emotional support from doctors or whomever?
    family? friends?

    :hug:
     
  9. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Do yu have any therapy to help you deal with everything. A psychologist who can help you see there is a chance at starting over. please reach out for help okay there is always a new door to open okay yu just don't see it yet. :hugtackles::hugtackles:
     
  10. leaving

    leaving Member

    I've never felt this way before. I've never been so low. I cant even bring myself to speak to friends of family, I'd feel like such an idiot going to a doctor basically because a relationship ended.
     
  11. Kirsty_Ann

    Kirsty_Ann Well-Known Member

    isolating yourself won't help, you need people around you, it is so easy to cut yourself off, you shouldn't.
    The fact that you are feeling down irregardless of the reason, in the first place is enough to go to the doctors, besides the end of a relationship is still a loss and very difficult to cope with
     
  12. leaving

    leaving Member

    I hurt all the good people in my life, even my kids.
     
  13. Kirsty_Ann

    Kirsty_Ann Well-Known Member

    There is always time to try and make amends. . . for them too, i'm sure they need you. . . you need them and sometimes we say and do things quite rashly, but i'm sure they will be there.
    Besides you need to keep going for them; they do need you
     
  14. leaving

    leaving Member

    I dont think they do. I moved a long way from home for a job so since the kids and their mum left and moved back I've been without. Not sure I even like the idea of being needed anymore, its pretty involuntary.
     
  15. Kirsty_Ann

    Kirsty_Ann Well-Known Member

    You need to go to your doctor hun, you need to fight this. You can do this. . . probably doesn't feel like it atm because it is all alot to deal with, but you can do it.
    You need someone on side, and so you know we are all here for you on here.
    If the relationship was working for both of you, it will sort itself out. You need to try . . .

    :hug:
     
  16. leaving

    leaving Member

    Thanks, it means a lot. Not sure I can face the doc's thing but I'll give it some thought. I'm crushed to say the relationship wasn't working, I'd still try a million more times but its really done this time. My guilt tripping and mind F***ing ways wont cut it this time.
     
  17. Kirsty_Ann

    Kirsty_Ann Well-Known Member

    If you feel silly about the doctors thing, maybe write a letter and give it if you feel you cannot say it. . . just something to think about.
    If the relationship isn't for you then i guess the pain is something that you are going to have to go through; hopefully it will only be temporary and you will be doing the right thing for you, but if she is what you want then try, apparently we regret the things we don't do more than the things we do do.
    :hug:
     
  18. leaving

    leaving Member

    I will try the letter, that sounds a lot easier. Thank you for your patience with me, I didn't even take a breath to say hello.
     
  19. Kirsty_Ann

    Kirsty_Ann Well-Known Member

    It's fine, sometimes it matters about how you feel than it does about being polite and going through all the formalities in day-to-day life :)
    But welcome on here btw, i saw that you were new.
    I hope you feel that you are able to use it; it is really useful on here and people will listen as you vent :)
    But i am sorry you've had a hard time and it has taken it's toll emotionally. . .

    :hug:
     
  20. leaving

    leaving Member

    it has helped a little so thank you for that.

    Think I'm gonna go listen to the sad songs a while now, see if a bit of a grizzle makes any difference.

    It was really good to chat to you, maybe I can return the favour sometime.
     
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