I cant cope with these feelings. I want them out of my chest, out of my muscles, out of my head, out of my heart. I want to run from every shitty little part of my life. I regret everything, even if something is good I'll trash it and regret that too. I'm scared and the only person I could turn to is gone. I drove her away one too many times. I thought her love would be there til the day I die. Mine will be, though I'm not sure how long that will be. A guy I went to school with hung himself recently, I didn't know him very well and I actually disliked him when we were at school. I saw a photo of the letters his kids left pinned to his door and I cried. At the time I couldn't relate to anything that would cause me or him enough pain to leave 2 kids behind. I dont think there is anything that would. But thats the point. I dont have anything now. I am leaving.