I'm new, as you can probably see. I'm not going to post my name, as I'd prefer to not be findable on Google and the such. Anyway, I'm only 18, but I've already been through more shit than I care for. I was born with a deformity, which could well have been treated, were it not for the incompetence of my parents. So now I have to live as an outcast. I can't go outside anymore. I can't look at myself in the mirror with a straight face either. I'm physically able to work, but I can't, 'cause being around other people is just Hell. I've been told that there's no chance for surgery now unless i can cough up tens of thousands of pounds. Money which I don't, and won't ever have. I can't say I have no friends. I actually have a fair few good mates who I talk to often, but I've not gone out with any of them for over 6 months now. They've also not been 100% supportive, which doesn't make things any easier. I simply sit at home now and wonder why the hell I'm still alive. I've been comtemplating suicide for over 2 years, but I've only recently started planning it out. If everything goes smoothly, which it is doing so far, then I'll have the means to end this sad mistake of a life by the end of the year. Anyway, I suppose I have to end with a question... What the fuck's the point? Even as a normal person, I'd just be another person with a meaningless life, in a meaningless world. Being in this state just makes things that much worse.