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I don't now...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ^^liz^^, Feb 28, 2007.

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  1. ^^liz^^

    ^^liz^^ Member

    I don't know how people do it, going around all days being happy, looking forward to wake up and just...I don't know. When I'm sitting reading some stupid schoolbook or something and all I can think is; "Why can't I just kill myself?" I starts to wonder if I ever will find that strange inside of me to do it, I so badly want to, this pain is just to horrible and I can’t even describe it. The only times I didn’t feel it and when I felt so incredible relieved were when I took a razor and dragged it over my wrist, but I stopped that and now I can’t find a way to feel that way again.
    Why can’t I just find the courage to end it all?
  2. twilightki

    twilightki Well-Known Member

    You may feel like a coward for not following through, but trust me, you are not. Deep inside of you (not as deep as you may think.....) there is a will to live. You don't necessarily want to die...you just don't like the way things are in your life right now. I hope and pray that you find strength to continue on. We all have that strength. You just have to believe in yourself. It may sound corny, but you can get through.
  3. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    The survival instinct (or self preservation instinct) is the reason why it's so difficult to kill oneself. Instincts are very very powerful forces in our psyche. For example, the sex instinct to re-produce is strong in every species on the planet. The instinct to eat food is even bigger. Even a baby is born with the instinct to hold it's breath automatically if under water. They're natural mechanisms built in to our DNA.

    Humans are the only lifeforms on this planet who deliberately kill themselves.

    To be honest, I would find state education depressing too. Whenever you can, think outside the box.
  4. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Liz, I have no wise words of advice for you other than I've been in the same place, and I got thru it. The love and support of my friends here helped me immeasurably, as well as professional counseling and meds. Every day is still a struggle, but I break it down into hours and minutes, and somehow I make it thru each day.

    sending you love and hugs and hope,:hug:

  5. ^^liz^^

    ^^liz^^ Member

    I just wanna to stop hurting the people around me and I just want this pain to go away! And suicide seems to be the best solution for everyone. :depressed
  6. HarpooN

    HarpooN Member

    if you kill your self...you are a murderer. do you know how many people will die inside when you commit suicide? its a terrible thing to do not only to your self, but to your friends and family.

    Stay strong.

  7. ^^liz^^

    ^^liz^^ Member

    Maybe they will be angry at me and so, but they will not break inside, and they want be that sad. Everyone is better of without me, no one will really miss me, they might think so but I’m just in the way so I would do everyone a favour.
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