I don't pity myself.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by JobForAVictim, Oct 27, 2007.

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  1. JobForAVictim

    JobForAVictim Well-Known Member

    I don't pity myself, I hate myself.
    I don't have any actual problems in my life, but I still can't handle it. I am too weak to even handle high school, much less college or a job. It's incredibly pathetic. I cannot even manage to keep a coherent life together.

    If I ever met myself, I'd beat the shit out of me on principal alone.

    When I hate other people, I can just leave and get away from them. But I hate myself, so that's not an option.

    I can't wait to die. I hope it's painful.
     
  2. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    been feeling the same way lately. I really dont think I even deserve hapiness at this point.
     
  3. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    Dunno what measures you're willing to take, but it's good you don't pity yourself. You're probably less inclined to dwell on misfortunes. Should make it easier for you to work out of this hell.

    Just because you don't have any (as it's put) "real problems in [your] life," does not mean you can't have a hard time. Like anyone else, you're entitled to feel shit. Doubtful you're weak. Perhaps you've simply exhausted of the tedium. You're intelligent enough to identify the acerbity of existence, and though I don't know what good that does, it means you're more perceptive than many.

    You know, maybe (I don't know anything and won't speak like I do :unsure:) when you get out of this rut, you'll have promise? Sure you can't escape you; but you can escape some of the things that weigh you down and/or make you hate yourself. Cliché and it may seem like a crock of shit, yeah, but time can change lots. Things suck, but they don't have to suck forever.

    I hope they improve or you find peace. Meanwhile, feel free to drop me a PM should you ever need to talk.

    In any case, I really feel for you. I know how it is and I wouldn't wish this crap on anyone.

    Sincere best wishes.
     
  4. JobForAVictim

    JobForAVictim Well-Known Member

    I dunno, I'm pretty damn good at dwelling on misfortunes...
    I don't think it's intelligence that's causing my problems. If I want to look at it objectively, I'd say it was probably a chemical imbalance of some sort, like my psychiatrist and therapist say. However, it still seems silly to me that I am depressed even though my life is pretty good.
    That's probably the case. There are times when I feel just fine, though they're few and far between at this point in time.

    You know, I'm all bark and no bite. I'm full of anger, and I rage about things (thus this topic...), but I rarely actually do anything about it. It's probably better that I'm that way. Keeps me out of trouble and such. I suppose I don't really hate myself as much as I say I do, otherwise I'd already have killed myself.
    Thank you for the offer.
    And best wishes to you also.
     
  5. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    Aww. :laugh: We all're capable of it. Just some more than others.

    Makes sense.

    Understandable. There's nothing wrong with that, though. You reserve the right to be depressed like us all. It's an illness, really. It doesn't discriminate.

    So you might be okay progressively. :smile: It's just at "this point in time", you're struggling. And it's just that: a point in time. You'll be able to keep a coherent life together eventually, when you remove the weight. Don't be so hard on yourself.


    Yeah. Not too good to be boiling over with rage, though. That probably should be channelled somehow. I dunno. But I suppose being angry and not acting on it is better than letting it get the better of you. Problem ought be addressed before it does get the better of you, however.

    Mm. Maybe you're just frustrated with yourself instead? D'you think if the way you feel about things and the way you deal with life and stressors were different, you'd like yourself more? If you got out of this rut? :dunno:

    Tough time you've got at the moment. But, though gradual, you can probably be fairly well-off emotionally. It's never easy, but just try and work toward getting better instead of letting yourself drown in the surrounding grey.

    Hang in there. :hug:
     
  6. Metallica*Melinda

    Metallica*Melinda Well-Known Member

    Im totally feeling the way you are right now... so i dont know what to say... but I can say ur not the only one...
     
  7. twilightki

    twilightki Well-Known Member

    If you tell yourself you are weak, then youare weak. You tell yourself you are strong, you are strong. Unlike animals, we have thinking minds. Animal survive because that is their instinct. We have this instinct also, but things such as our thinking minds come into contact with that. You can either be defeated by it, or you can become even stronger. You choose.
     
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