I have attempted suicide for 7 times by now, and I know that I wouldn't mess it up another time. I know exactly what I would do, I have everything I need. But I won't do it, because then I would probably do a favor to people that hate me and I'd hurt the people that kinda care about me. I don't exactly know what my problem is. I'm a really good student, my boyfriend thinks I'm highly intelligent. But I'm depressed/suicidal, for a reason I don't know for sure. My parents don't allow me anything, I'm not allowed to be out after 6 pm, I've never had a sleepover at a friends or so, I'm not even allowed to leave the house without telling my parents the exact reason. But on the other side my parents don't give a s*** on my feelings or what gets wrong with me. I don't get any attention from them. And my brother kinda treats me like his private slave or something. I for example do his Maths- and English-homework, while he chats with his so-called "friends". And every time my parents actually interact with me, they'd be just yelling at me because I didn't do something they didn't ever tell me to do. So my parents could be a reason why I'm suicidal. But my classmates treat me like a worthless creature as well. For them, I just exist as long as I give them my homework to copy. I'm too friendly, I never say no. So they all just use me and then they throw me away, over and over and over and over again. That messed me up somehow too. On the other hand, I shouldn't have any reason to be suicidal. I mean, the person I love loves me too, and I don't want to hurt or lose him. He said if I end my life, he will come after me, no matter what his therapist had told him. I know what that all must sound like. It probably sounds like teen-problems, which kinda is it, but it's more than that to it. My boyfriend doesn't go to school anymore, he just finished it about half a year ago. He's adult enough to know about consequences of actions. He means what he says. He says I'm his little angel, and that it is his duty, his will, to save me as long as he can. To make me happy, because he says that I've been through enough suffering in the last few years. So that's why I have no reason to kill myself.