I am tired of living and hurting. I am tired of my stupid toxic family. They feel like I'm such a burden to them, and I am, because I don't have a job, or a car, or my own place, or a god damn reason to live, but they have no idea how much of a burden they are to me. They are a bunch of stupid hypocrites who never practice what they preach. I don't sit around all day doing nothing, and I try to make efforts to move forward despite any limitations. But it doesn't matter. Yesterday I got a call from someone who may hire me for a job, but my aunt didn't give me the message right away. Instead she starts her usual nagging about how it's her phone and why people call on "her phone" The fuck else am I supposed to get phone messages from people?! I live there too! It's funny when I have money on my own how she'll want money and not for bills, it's for her hair or her nails and still has the never to tell me what to do with "my money" And yes, if I could move and get the hell away from her and the rest of these people called my family I would but that is not a feasible option at the moment. And it's not just them, it's my own damn standards in life. I see no hop or future. I was so upset at my aunt yesterday I felt the side of my neck tightening and I was hoping I would stroke or something right then and there. I don't have the courage to take my own life....another reason why I hate myself cause I'm such a coward. Anyway, I'm rambling and I know this sounds selfish so I'm sorry, but I hate my life and I hate living.