I dont see any point in life anymore

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by smwhorses, May 27, 2015.

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  1. smwhorses

    smwhorses Well-Known Member

    This is the email from my friend: "You need to find a job. Staying home all the time has ruined you. Get the horses up to *****, then move close to a bigger city. Get a job so you can get your DL and buy a used truck. Then go back to shoeing. You made good money from that and you are good at it. If your back won't take the bending over, try training at people's places until you can afford your own place. "

    I am trying to get into a neuro doctor. I am positive I have MS. The having one side of my scalp go numb finally sent me searching the web. I can't do any of the things I use to. On a good day I can walk 1-1.5 miles or I can ride slowly for 20-40 minutes but I cannot do both. I use to shoe 6-10 horses a day and/or trim up to 30. Now it takes me 2 days to do one of ours that stand well. I cannot even bend under a tree branch. I have no balance and if the horse moves wrong I am pulling on their mouth, something I have never done. I sold "my horse" because I could no longer ride him. The new owners keep saying how "smooth" he is yet he was too rough for my back to handle.
    I tried to ride the other day and my legs went into spasms. There are days when I cannot walk without a cane. I stopped driving because I cannot feel my legs or lift my right leg.

    I feel my friend is correct. My daughter would have an easier life without me. As soon as my grandson is in daycare I will not be needed at all.
  2. okthanksabunch

    okthanksabunch New Member

    Hey smwhorses. I registered to respond to your post. I honestly probably don't have any great words for yourself, but as a somewhat younger man at 30, I want to say thank you. Thanks for picking up a trade that not many do, I am assuming somewhat of a ferrier or blacksmith. Thanks for making it so many years, and having your children, and watching them have children. Thanks for sticking around and sharing the wisdom you do have, wherever that does happen, I'm sure it happens. Health isn't guaranteed in life, but it sounds like you had a good many years. It is up to you what you do, going forward, and I certainly can't condemn you about being down about your health. It is hard to say what the causes of neurological issues can be, it can be complex to surprisingly simple, so get it checked out thoroughly! You might as well put your energy into a diagnosis of your condition as it stands before you make any other decisions. Really not much to lose when it comes to spending money to get lab work done right? Anyway, just thought I'd say hello, and I hope you are having a good day. If you aren't, well no worries, me either : )
  3. Starting Over

    Starting Over Active Member

    Hi okthanksabunch,

    Chronic pain neurological issues can be quite debilitating. It is often hard for those who don't experience it to understand.

    As far as your grandson, I am fortunate that my grandpa is still alive, and he is a great source of strength. I have had many issues with my parents and it is a great comfort to know my grandpa is still around to help me if I need it. Your grandson may feel the same way some day, so I would take comfort in that. I would try to surround yourself with some people who are more supportive. And I hope you find adequate medical treatment. Don't give up if the first doctor doesn't work either, Many neurologists themselves are not always as compassionate towards their patients as they should be.
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