I don't see myself living much longer..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by VagabondVinny, Oct 21, 2014.

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  1. VagabondVinny

    VagabondVinny Member

    And I had planned on killing myself sometime next week but I only changed my mind because I wanted to celebrate my last Halloween with my family..
    Afterwards, I don't really know but, I don't see myself living to see this year's Christmas..
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Can you tell us why, what's brought you to this point?
  3. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi, so sorry to hear that you are hurting so much. You are hurting so much but please think about the impact on your family. It's important that your care about them. I understand that you are feeling down but you need to explain why your are feeling like this. Keep posting for support this forum.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 22, 2014
  4. VagabondVinny

    VagabondVinny Member

    Nothing really brought me to this point. (Or at least I don't really think anything did)
    I just know that I don't wish to live anymore.. I've been feeling like this for about a couple months, I guess and now I'm thinking about ways to just end myself..

    I know that it will hurt them, but I'm sure they'll get over it quickly. They did the same when my Mother died, and I'm sure everyone loved her way more then they do me.
    All everyone does anymore is try to get on my bad side, like they want me to just go.
  5. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    Rather than worry yourself about how your death will affect loved ones, why not find a reason to life for yourself - just a thought. How our deaths affects others should not be the deciding factor of you living or dying. I would like you to find a way to cherish your life.

    Hold on, life is precious.
  6. FMyLife

    FMyLife Chat Buddy

    I have comments on a few of your posts, for reasons that I cannot fathom. But here is the thing. You are 15 and flat out said yourself you don't know why you don't wish to live. Could this be boredom? Maybe you need to get more involved with your school programs. Find more ways to get involved with your social surroundings. I find it hard to believe that you just want to end if for reasons unknown. And given the many people in this forum with problems beyond comprehension, I find it offensive. I really think you need to dig deep inside yourself, and figure out what is missing. Maybe you need to go out more, or maybe your family needs to be more supportive of you. Join a sport. Something. School is open to many things. To end your life is not a good answer. To end your life without reason is downright offensive to those that fight to live.
  7. VagabondVinny

    VagabondVinny Member

    I thank you for the motivative words but I just don't see me having any future.. I know that for some people it'll get better but, I'm sure I'm not one of them.. I'm too much of a pessimistic person to believe that it'll get better.. Because, it'll only get worse again..
    I don't have any motivation left to do anything, I piss off the people that matter and other's just tell me hurtful things..
    I had something going until I realized how stupid and worthless my future goals were. That I probably won't ever achieve them.. I don't think I have a reason left..
    But, I do thank you the kind words <:)

    I don't share enough of my life on here for anything to make much sense.. And I'm sorry for that because it makes others misunderstand things I'm trying to say.. (Also, I'm really socially awkward, so a lot of things I say don't make sense because I don't know how to say it.. (Or more like write it))
    And I don't mean to be 'offensive' or anything but I do fight to stay alive. It's hard for me to find motivation to wake up in the morning, to actually eat something and to keep it down. I've tried to stop cutting and every now and then I let myself slip. Also, I'm pretty sure I do not want to kill myself out of 'boredom'. I do have reason but, I don't feel comfortable sharing them on here because I've had other's use those reasons against me..
    And, I don't even find myself getting bored; I mean, I already keep myself busy as it is.
  8. Randomperson9090

    Randomperson9090 New Member

    I'm 19 and in the same boat as you. Was actually loading a gun today and was looking up where to best spot to shoot was, simply because I'd rather not screw this up and end up a vegetable, when I found a website that told me the best way to shoot myself. I know this website sounds very morbid but actually it's not. After reading through there was a few sentences that said if "if your actually considering doing this, please just take the time to read this one page" with the link to it. I read the page and continued to another. I don't think the page actually changed the way I feel but reading all of it just calmed me down. I'm still terrified that in a week I'll be right back to where I was an hour ago. But idk. The page asked me to give it a week or 2. Your gonna be dead forever so waiting a couple weeks won't hurt, it might make it better. That's what the article said and I urge you to do the same as me. Wait a couple weeks not just one. and maybe talk to your family. If u can't reply to this and u can email me. I'm not judgmental at all. Helping people helps me.
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